April 29th, 2020

Pandemic Diary V: April 13 to 20

April 13: That thing that is going around where I list ten things that are reasonably popular with the general population that I, personally, do not enjoy:

1) gravy
2) activities where something attaches to my feet (skiing, ice skating, rollerblading, etc.)
3) parades
4) TV shows about cooking (unless they tell you HOW to cook a thing, which is never in 2020)
5) alcohol
6) good-natured teasing
7) getting a lot more information on something I already know is bad (of everything on this list, #7 is probably the hardest one to convince others of)
8) podcasts and webseries that just funny people hanging out
9) debate
10) fondant (although, actually, there’s *lots* of fondant in the world, but does *anybody* actually like it?)

(2) Evan has learned to play tug of war. #catsofinstagram

Day 32 (yesterday’s status that never got posted somehow): it is raining. Slightly tricky work puzzle to figure out, felt my brain protesting angrily (still solved it, but am now exhausted). It was indeed a slothful weekend, I hope I am not fully ruined for industrious effort now.

I have been finding new things to be anxious about as we leave the apartment less and less, which does not bode well. Last night we made a roast chicken et al for dinner, and it was very nice. As he was packing up the leftovers, Mark said to be careful when I ate them because there might be little bones in there. I said, “Well, then I won’t eat any.” This morning I demanded that if Mark ate any, he call me so I could keep an eye on him in case he choked. Remembered the terrifying time I briefly choked on a fishbone in a restaurant and was too embarrassed to say anything until after I coughed it out. Once the crisis was averted, I didn’t want to eat the rest of my fish in case there were more stealth bones and my friend (who appears to no longer be on facebook) leaned over and cut it all up for me and patted all the pieces and said, “See, no bones!” and I saw his whole future as an excellent father (which was right) and so I ate the fish. Later that night we went to a reading and that was the second time I’d ever talked to Mark Sampson and my voice sounded funny because the bone cut up my throat but it was still really nice.

Man, I miss going out with friends and restaurants and readings (and cheerfully letting others touch my food). I watched Mark eat the leftovers and he didn’t choke, but can not choking be really be the best one can say about an experience?

Day 33–I have been putting off calling my doctor regarding prescription renewals hoping that somehow the pandemic would just…go away, and I wouldn’t be faced with the choice between going to an office with potential sick/germy people and doing without my usual drugs. But I call just now, and I could make a phone appointment for tomorrow! So easy and not scary–and no germs! FYI in case you, too, have been worried about making the call!

(2)

I self-inject mediation once a month, which is not frequently enough to become either proficient or blasé about self-injection, so I make Mark monitor me in case I–I don’t know–hit something important with the needle. Conversation while I was sterilizing my thigh, readying the needle, and injecting:

RR: Someone is doing a most hated high-school books bracket on twitter.
MS: Ooh, what’s winning?
RR: So far they’re just collecting nominations. What would you nominate?
MS: Shane! For sure!
RR: Oh, I didn’t read that one. It’s about…
(at the same moment) MS: A horse. RR: A pimp?
MS: I think there was a pimp in it. (Takes out his phone, googles, starts reading Wikipedia) …set in 1889 Wyoming, when Wyoming Territory was still open to the Homestead Act of 1862…maybe not a pimp.
RR: …(faintly) a bad muthaf*cka…?
MS: …
RR: …
MS: You’re thinking of Shaft.
RR: Oh. (does injection wrong in some way I do not understand, bleeds)
MS (shoulder hug) It’ll be all right.

Day 34–I have a long tunic/short minidress that I generally wear on the former setting, with leggings or opaque tights. But today, alone in my apartment with husband and cats for 34 days, is the day–bare legs, baby!

(2) Made some late night hummus because why not? It is pink because I used beet tahini. I think it’s gorgeous. #hummus #whynot #whatamidoingwithmylife

Day 35 (or possibly day 1000, no way to tell) neighbour noise report: my neighbourhood is extremely noisy, but if I delve into that it gets whiny really fast. I have been marinating in noises for 35 days, suffice to say.

INSIDE our building, interestingly, is not noisy–it is one of those old 70s cinderblock constructions where, if you can hear your neighbours, your neighbours are doing something unusual. So here is the report on our neighbours, all of whom are 98% silent but I’ve had 9 years to find out what I can and 35 days to really ponder it: north-side neighbours are a couple and their perhaps 10yo? daughter. The dad is friendly enough, the mom is very reserved, but the little girl would like to pet our cats and possibly even talk to me at the elevators so the mom is cordial for her sake. They once had an elderly woman staying with them who paced the hall for hours and slightly frightened me. The only noise we have ever heard from their place took me quite a while to figure out, turned out to be a popcorn popper that was touching the wall for a few minutes. The only noise ever. South-side neighbours are the couple with the tiny baby who I have mentioned before in this space–although they refuse to be rude, they very definitely wish to talk to me never. Pre-pandemic I never heard a peep from them, but since i have been home I have heard the baby crying once, someone jumping rope once, and a few things falling on the floor. Also once a loud argument that may or may not have been on tv. Across the hall neighbours are a couple with a miniature dachshund and, they claim, a cat which I have never seen. I occasionally hear them chatting happily or their tv if I am in the hallway (the doors are less soundproof than the walls). The previous occupant told me that apartment is a bachelor, and they have lived there for more than 5 years and just seem really joyful for two men and two pets living in a single room. These neighbours are pretty friendly but, unlike the other two mentioned, speak English as a first language, so that could have something to do with it (there is another couple with a miniature dachshund living down the hall, also two men, also friendly–I don’t know if they have a cat or not). Upstairs neighbours: these are the ceiling singers, whom I’ve mentioned here before. I think there are several of them, I think they are pretty young, but since we don’t share a corridor we can’t be sure. They definitely love music, they are definitely mainly untalented, and they have a lot of friends to throw parties for. They are a tiny bit noisy, but since they replaced an abusive parent who screamed and threw things, I appreciate them every single day. Downstairs neighbours–no available information, we have never heard anything and never knowingly seen them. Since noise travels down more easily than up in a building, probably we are their noise, although we are really quiet according to me. I wonder what they think….

Day 36, things edition. At the beginning of the lockdown, I refused to order anything for delivery–then, a few weeks in, I went berserk and ordered the following: a yoga mat, since my old one was trapped at work (and also is the free one I got with Special K purchases that is falling apart); a bunch of new leggings/jeggings, since I didn’t have very many and those too were falling apart and even I can’t wear skirts/tights when I’m home all day everyday); new earbuds for walks around the neighbourhood since, again, I had destroyed my existing ones. Except for my tendency to ruin all my belongings, I’m a fairly thrifty person and I wound up feeling really guilty about all the deliveries while also really enjoying each and every one of them.

Before and since, I’ve also been wandering through the apartment, finding things that I had forgotten about. Even as people who allegedly buy very little, we had still accumulated all these random nice things that we didn’t even have time to appreciate…until now… Here is what turned up:
–Kitchen: arborio rice (the kind you make risotto with), dried kidney beans, chia seeds, lasagna noodles, beet tahini, several fancy teas, sourdough starter, hot chocolate, ground almonds, sweetened condensed milk, frozen pumpkin–all things bought for some recipe or given as gifts and then just kind of…there (except the sourdough, which is eternal) all now used up, except for a bit of tea and of course the starter, which is eternal. So many good meals!
–Bathroom: vast collection of nail polishes, though I swore off buying nail polish over 5 years ago; fancy shower oil; fancy soap; fancy moisturizer; shower puff in the shape of a rose; perfume that I always worry is too strong to wear to work; essential oil for migraine. I’m working on using this stuff up, and my nails and skin look amazing. I’m also having a very well-scented lockdown!
–Bureau: vast collection of scarves, none of which turned out to be good for making masks, but it is fun to wear pretty silk scarves every day! Actually, that’s kind of it in that area–I’m not really dressing up much these days.
–Bookshelves: Arcadia by Tom Stoppard, which is one of Mark’s faves but I had never read. Now I’m reading it aloud with a couple friends over Zoom and it’s one of the highlights of my week! I’m also making some slow progress on my New Yorker backlog and a treat for this weekend is Tabitha Southey’s Collected Tarts, which I bought I don’t know how long ago and somehow just never got to.

That’s all I can think of, but there’s probably actually more! Oh, a cool rice paper notebook from high school that only had like 4 pages written on! Anyway, as we cope with boredom and financial belt-tightening, it’s nice to have all this stuff to play with. Have you found anything fun lying around your place?

Day 38. Because I have started spending the entire day and evening in a single room, I have come to have somewhat strange feelings about this room. Whereas in the Before, I would wake up, go to the gym, shower, TTC to work, work all day and maybe go to a few meetings, TTC home, eat dinner, and then write in my home office in the evenings, now I wake up, do a YouTube workout in my home office, shower, work all day in my home office, eat dinner, and write all evening in said office. Most video calls, online games, and watching of TV Mark does not like is also done in here. I know, I know, cry me a river–it is very nice having this office and I don’t take it for granted. But I have been spending up to twelve hours a day in here and have noticed way too much about the paint on the walls, the window frame, the very non-ergonomic desk setup (I thought it was great until recently), etc. etc. I wonder when I will be able to go back to finding this a pleasant little room again…hopefully someday!

Day 39, somehow. Overwhelmed with sadness about the murders in Nova Scotia. I don’t usually talk about big horrors on social media because I don’t have anything unique or comforting to say, but since all forms have self-censorship have gone out the window in the pandemic: I’m sad and I don’t have anything useful to say about that.

My tomato seedlings are starting to get their adult leaves. Evan threw up this morning (twice), but on an easy-to-clean surface. It occurred to me that part of why TV never looks realistic to me is that everyone’s clothes have clearly been put on 10 minutes ago and have no creases from sitting down or anything–no one ever looks like that in real life.

I continue to be upset about the homeless situation during C-19 (and not during C-19, but particularly right now)–I keep finding tents in my neighbourhood in new spots wherever I go for a walk. I’ve been donating to different food programs to support people in need, but it doesn’t feel like enough. If you’re acquainted with an organization in Toronto that is helping people in poverty through this crisis, I’m happy to hear about it. I can post a list of places I know about so far plus the new suggestions I receive, if others are interested…