October 18th, 2011

What I Like to Talk About–an incredibly revealing post

Ages ago, I heard someone describe a topic as his “favourite topic of conversation.” At the time, I was young and thought that a very foolish thing to say/believe–surely the goodness of any given conversation was what the other talkers brought to it; surely there was no topic inherently good but that talking makes it so.

Which I still believe, but I also now realize that I have a number of topics, in the absense of anyone supplying a different one, I will always enjoy. And the things on this list are, in some cases, embarrassing–if you read this list for me, maybe for anyone, it will tell you a lot about my personality. So, ok, go:

1) People we might know in common. I will always try to figure out mutual acquaintances if you live or have ever lived anywhere near anyone I have ever known. You could be generous and say it’s my community spirit or some such, but sometimes it’s a puzzle and I like to find degrees of separation. And sometimes I think I honestly can’t believe I no longer live in the small town of my childhood, with my family and 3 friends being the only people I know.

2) People I know–or preferably whom we both know–and why they are awesome. I like thinking about what, specifically, I like about a person, and how their mind seems to work to make them fun, smart, generous, talented, funny, whatever. This can occasionally take a dark turn–I’m not above analyzing what’s wrong with someone–but the bright side is funner. And there’s something really bonding about two people co-liking a third person.

3) On the same token, a book we have both read and what we thought of it. I love discussing books, of course, but the conversation only truly sings if we’ve both read the text under discussion. I can definitely make a case for why you *should* (or shouldn’t) read a book that I’ve read, and I am receptive to being told as well, but after a while that’s less a conversation than an exchange of monologues. Less fun.

4) Cats. CATS CATS CATS.

5) What we’re going to do next. And then after that. And what we’ll have for lunch, and what would be a thing to have for lunch that would generate enough leftovers for tomorrow’s lunch, and also where it might be less expensive to shop for shoes and what lunch restaurants would be close by at that point, and what bus we would catch to make it to the movie on time, and then alternative bus routes in case we might like one of those better, and what other movie we might see if we are late for that one. Sometimes people who thought they liked me spend a long hectic day with me and find out that they don’t like me that much after all.

6) The weather. Seriously, it’s very interesting, and anyway, it’s going to affect what I’m doing this weekend.

7) What I’m doing this weekend. Also what you’re doing this weekend. Good things to do on future weekends…

See, I’m sort of inane, no? It’s weird to discover so much about myself from a list of things I already knew–separately–that I liked. What are your favourite topics of conversation??

September 23rd, 2011

Pictures and Story

The kind person to send me pictures from Tuesday’s launch (at least the first one; I’d still be happy to receive more) is Kerry Clare, so she gets the 100 points and my eternal gratitude. Here’s us, waiting to go on-stage, and then on:

Talking with my hands! Further excitement is that the wonderful online literary project Joyland has published my short story Waiting for Women this week–so much goodness going on right now!

September 22nd, 2011

Wowsers

Well, the event on Tuesday was just about perfect! So many of the people I adore and admire were there, and I got to talk to many of them. We had great cookies (thanks, Jane) and cupcakes (thanks, Kerry) and so-so muffins (I have a weird oven, ok?) I did a lot of hugging. And then–yes there’s more–came the formal part of the evening, where Kerry Clare showed that cupcake-baking is the least of her gifts, and conducted a thoughtful and fun on-stage interview with me. She also managed to cross her legs whilst sitting on her high barstool, a stunt I simply could not manage.

Beyond baking and balancing, Kerry is brilliant because her questions are so intimate with the text, so much the opposite of the stock, ask-any-writer style of interview questions (“How much of your work is autobiographical? Do you write in the mornings or evenings? Who are your influences?”) And the questions at any given interview (she’s done lots) are tailored to the form, content, and style of the writer, so even when the questions were hard (no softballs at all), I was very interested in answering them for myself.

And then, after Rupert from Ben McNally Books, who did a superb job running the whole event, fixed the mike for me, I did a brief reading. Now that some people out there actually have the book I can say it was the beginning of the story “Research” and expect that someone might know what I mean! And yes, I did read far enough to say the “orgasm” to a room full of friends, strangers, my colleagues and my parents. It was a milestone of sorts.

And then more talking, a lot of book-signing, absolutely no more baked goods because they’d all been eaten, and lots and lots of fun! By the end of the night, it was down me and Mark and Dan, my publisher, and a few very lovely friends who helped me get every drop of celebration out of the evening possible. I never wanted to go home, because then the party would be over and it was so so so fun!

At my first launch, my edited John Metcalf warned me that it would never be so wonderful again, but I do think this evening was, in a certain light, just as good. It wasn’t as new, but the benefit of that was that I wasn’t as insane. I’ve had 3+ years of book events and stage fright and making bookish friends and I have, in words no one ever said but I’m sure a few were thinking, finally calmed the hell down. Oh, I was totally wired before the event, and pretty well afterwards, but I was able to have genuine conversations with people and enjoy them, and be somewhat aware of my surroundings.

So yes, a thrilling night. My only regrets are the people I didn’t get a chance to talk to in the flurry, and that the kitten had to spend 16 hours by himself that day and was hysterical when we got home. Oh, and the big one is that I cavelierly handed my purse to my dear friend Scott and instructed him to take the camera out and photograph the event, not realizing that the camera had fallen out and would spend the evening under the table. I’m really sorry for making you rummage through all my stuff for naught, Scott–thanks anyway! And I did eventually *find* the camera, so I’m not out $200.

However, I have no pictures, so if you were at the event and took a few, could you send’em my way? I’ll post them here with credit, of course, and it’s definitely worth 100 bonus points to me to have them. (Also, 30 points if you id who the title of this post is stolen from.)

Thanks to all who attended, who hugged and well-wished and book-bought, and ate cookies and stayed late. And to those who couldn’t but sent faraway wishes nonetheless. I’m a lucky, lucky writer!

September 4th, 2011

Things that Don’t Happen When You Become a Published Author

I’m starting to get excited for my new book to come out. It’s not in stores for another couple weeks, but the ISBN and Amazon link are in place, and that makes me feel a little tingly.

There are so many amazing things that happened with my last book, it’s hard to describe. But there are also some cliches that everyone believes about book-publishing that it’s helpful to remind myself are *not true*. I’m sure there’s much more for me to learn, and many more illusions left to crush, but here’s what I’ve managed to debunk so far:

Everyone will think you are smart. I am not particularly stupid, but I do have some gaping holes in my knowledge–world history, current events, where certain countries are located, how microwaves work (not with nuclear energy, that’s for sure–what kind of moron would think that?). So sometimes people think I’m stupid in a more general sense and I find that very upsetting.

I thought having a book out might help–you can’t write a book and usually forget where Thailand is, is what I really hoped people would think (but they would be wrong). It didn’t work–people are impressed that I did manage the book *in spite* of certain obvious disadvantages like not being able to pronounce the word “origin.” But it doesn’t carry into other categories–they still raise their eyebrows as I stumble over a common 3-syllable word.

Pretty much the only time I can make people think I’m brilliant is when I don’t want to. Sometimes I meet people, usually younger than I am, whose lives strike me as interesting and whom I would like to get to know better, but they are so alarmed by this published-author thing that that’s all they want to talk about. I try to ask them questions about themselves but they insist they are boring and have nothing of value to say. I guess they think I’m trying to put them in a story.

People who didn’t think you were in cool in high school will now think so. Nope. I actually tried this out on a few girls who were basically nice but distant back in hs. We met at a party shortly after *Once* came out and I was pleased that they were being so friendly and even sort of remembered me. I waited patiently until they asked what I’d been up to in the last decade, and told them I had published a book and a bit about it. The silence was awkward; I don’t they either of them actually asked any questions. Later on, I realized a few things:
1) To someone who has never wanted to publish a book, it might not seem so particularly great to have done so.
2) I had not yet said I was had moved out of my parents’ house 10 years ago and since I was encountering them in the vicinity of said house, it might seem I had never done so. The conversation got a lot more lively after I said I had moved to Toronto and had a job–we talked about commutes.

Authors are famous. The above example pretty much illustrates how this one is wrong, too. To many people, writing a book–particularly a book of literary short fiction–is not very interesting or worthy of comment. This is, actually, fine. There are trappings of fame that come with small-press publication, but they aren’t the ones you think of–that doesn’t make them less lovely. Sometimes I get emails or Facebook notes from strangers telling me they liked my stories or asking questions about them (sometimes, they are students studying my work in a class, and wanting help with their homework; even that is strangely cool). And sometimes it’s weird too: I’ve been recognized on the street exactly twice, and both conversations were deeply baffling.

Being an author will encompass your whole life. Wrong again! I still have to do all of the things I did before, and sometimes I go for hours–nay, days!–without even thinking about writing fiction. This is not every author’s ideal, obviously, but it is also exactly like it was before. My work ethic was, perhaps, slightly bolstered by getting something into perfect binding, but it also added to the distractions like a higher volume of email, new writing friends, the occasional party invitation, etc. So it comes out a draw–I work about the same amount as I did before.

Writing success will make you more attractive to the people you want to be attractive to. This one actually sort of worked out for me, or at least, immediately following *Once*’s publication, I was flirted with more than I ever had been before. But I don’t think this was a strictly an authorial thing: I was also simply leaving the house more than I ever had before. Some people who aren’t writers may be familiar with the concept of attending parties where you don’t already know 75% of the guests, but I was not–it was kind of overwhelming just to keep introducing myself, not even bothering with the flirting. And I think the fact that a fellow author who liked my work recognized me at a reading from my author photo, and introduced himself, and two years later proposed, is probably a bit random and not typical.

So I’m counting on things staying more or less the same as they were before. They better–I don’t think I could handle any more change.

September 1st, 2011

On my desk right now

-desk lamp
-my watch
-desk organizer full of pens, pencils, 3 pairs of scissors
-bottle of bubble stuff
-doctor’s requisition for an ultrasound of my neck
-notebook
-Niagara Arts and Literary Festival keepsake minibook
-Central Neighbourhood House brochure (I’m going to volunteer for them if I ever again have free time)
-sleeping kitten
-stack of academic articles written by my parents
-a sixpence I got in England, to be put in my shoe on my wedding day
-2 coasters
-phone handset
-laptop
-mixed cd Em made me
-photos from P&J’s engagement party (yes, actual hard-copy photos!)
-business cards and postcards I keep meaning to put up
-a cut-out comic strip from “Rhymes with Orange”: a man is standing in the library near the shelf labelled “Books on CD”–he turns to the librarian and says, “No graphic novels?”
-a London tube map
-an expired library card from the Thomas Fischer Rare Book Library

That was fun. What’s on your desk?

August 12th, 2011

Myths of the Full-Time Writer

When I was in high-school, I read Banana Yoshimoto’s Kitchen (a great book, by the way). In the acknowledgements, she thanks her boss who let her write when she was supposed to be waiting tables. A light went on in my tiny teenaged brain–“Ah, that’s how you do it!”

That is not, as it turns out, how you do it. Most employers expect you to do the work you’re hired to do, and most writers, at least the ones I know, do something besides writing. Many of us simply have a full-time job and write evenings, weekends, and the occasional vacation. But even famous folks teach classes, edit journals and books, raise kids, and write for magazines–I can’t think of more than a handful of people in Canada who simply never do anything else than their own creative work.

*However*, there’s never and then there’s sometimes–many of us, if we are wily or lucky or both, can wrangle a period of time just for writing. I, for example, got to take a few months to focus on my new book, courtesy of the Canada Council, and I am most grateful.

However however, when you are slogging away in the salt mines, dreaming of perfect days spent with your perfect book, you might not accurately perceive how your life as a full-time writer might be. I didn’t, and since sometimes other people are like me, I thought I’d share my learnings with you, in hopes that your future transitions to full-time writing life, temporary or permanent, might be smoother than mine.

Myth #1: If I want to write full-time, I need to quit my job. This is totally true for some people, but not for everyone. It can’t hurt to ask for time off, if in fact you don’t *want* to quit. I like the people I work for and with, and most days enjoy my job pretty well, so I was eager to arrange my leave so I could come back at the end. On the other hand, if you hate your work, dread your colleagues, and dream of leaping into a fiery pit every morning as you board the bus, maybe you should consider quitting and using your post-writing hours to find a new job.

If, like me, you want to stay, think about the logistics. I was startled by how flexible and supportive my managers were about my leave, but they were also being logical–I wasn’t leaving work behind that would languish or be dumped on a colleague, and there was an easy way to suspend my pay. I knew colleagues had taken somewhat similar leaves and how it had worked for them, which is an important thing to know.

I think there are some companies that just have a “no leaves except for health” policy, and that’s pretty much that. If that’s the case for you, or you just don’t feel comfortable asking, another suggestion might be to try to scale back your hours and work part-time. I’ve done this in the past and it is *very* nice to have a day or two a week to work on nothing but writing. Just a thought!

Myth #2: The only thing holding me back from writing more is time. When I’m able, I will write all day every day. Who knows, this might be true for you–it wasn’t for me! I got a lot of writing done, yes–much more than if I’d had to jam it all into evenings and weekends. But I had a really hard time putting in uninterrupted days–at the very least, I had to go to the gym and run a few errands, and often I’d try to see another human being or something too (more on this below).

I got a lot of advice on how to be productive in unstructured time, most of which didn’t work for me but I’ll pass it on to you in case you can use it:
–write first thing in the morning, before doing anything else
–set a word-count goal and don’t stop writing until you reach it
–make a schedule and follow it every day, until it gets to be routine
–unplug the phone; don’t answer your email
–write in the morning, read in the afternoon (or vice versa)

Basically, I wound up doing whatever worked for the day–and mainly it worked pretty well. Some days wound up being wasted wreckages of clean floors and telemarketers, but I think that’s normal. Normal for me, anyway.

Myth #3: Writers are lone wolves, fuelled and solaced by their own imaginative creations. Again, maybe this applies to you. Actually, I’m one of the very few writers I know who self-identifies as an extrovert. That doesn’t mean that I’m not incredibly socially awkward, nor that I’m not often paralyzed by shyness–just that talking to other people, even just briefly, even about shallow or boring things, makes me happier than not doing so. And if I can actually have an interesting conversation with someone I like, home-run. One of my favourite things about my job is my varied and fascinating colleagues; I missed them and their daily chitter-chat intensely.

I would’ve been even worse off had I lived alone during this period; in fact, I probably wouldn’t have tried a leave when I did. As it was, I was octupus-like when my co-habitant returned home: clingy, intense, eager for mindless news of the outside world (ok, I don’t know if octopii enjoy mindless news). However, I did know about this extremely social side of my personality and took steps to bolster it accordingly–I made a lot of lunch plans with friends, used Air Miles to get gift-certificates to cafes and restaurants with Wi-Fi so I’d be able to work elsewhere than on the homefront, called my parents very often (they’re retired; it’s perfect!)

One of the best things I did on my leave was return to the habit of writing in the company of Kerry Clare. We used to do this after work in a cafe, but the birth of her daughter, Harriet, ended that. But this new version was even better, as we wrote during Harriet’s naptime and then, as a reward for all that work, we got to play when she woke up. Hanging around with a fellow writer gave me some good support, a spur to get to work, a source of baked goods and gossip in (somewhat) judicious amounts, and a place to go on Wednesday afternoons. If you, like me, like a little interaction with your literary efforts, I highly recommend a writing buddy. Though I doubt you’ll find one as great as Kerry, nor with as cute a toddler on hand.

Myth #4: A leave will build up some excellent writing momentum to carry me forward once I’ve returned to work and a more cramped writing lifestyle. I don’t know if many people even think about this, let alone believe it, but I did, and for me it totally wasn’t true. After so much time to do exactly what I wanted, even if I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do nor even want to make my own decisions much of the time, it has been very very challenging, not to mention exhausting, to return to a more structured existence. I am still not really back on my part-time writing horse yet–if anyone wants to write a post on that, I’d be most interested.

July 24th, 2011

And then you get the kitten!

There were a lot of things I needed to do and achieve in my life before I was ready for the responsibility of a kitten, so this moment was a long time coming. This is Evan. I promise not to blog about dccccccc=]]]]s[]p—–= him constantly ,jmk or indeed very much at all, but I just wanted you to know he exists. Because he just walked across my keyboard (x2) and that’s how we end up with the text junk above–if sometime I miss deleting that stuff, I want you to know I haven’t lost my mind.

But mainly because Evan is so awesome and I am so very happy to have him.

June 17th, 2011

The Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award

Thanks so much to Allyson Latta for gifting me with the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award! This is an award that is inspiring in its generosity–the rule is the recipients are the next adjudicators, and have to pass it on some other sweet blogs. Which is actually rule 3–let’s do this in order.

Rule one is to thank the person who have you the award–thanks so much, Allyson. We met when we judged the UofT writing contest last summer–and had a wonderful lunchtime debate over the winners at the Gallery Grill. Also is an insightful reader and a fascinating person, as her “7 things about me” section of the Blog Award requirements proves–you should read it if you haven’t already.

So rule 2–tell 7 things about me. I got into trouble trying to do the “25 Things about Me” Facebook meme a few years ago, but 7 seems more manageable. Let’s see…

(1) I’m from a quite small town, and I lived there until I graduated high school. Then I went to McGill and from there to live in Toronto. Apparently these urban experiences have completely overwritten any rural parts of my personality, because people are always shocked and disbelieving that I grew up planting squash seeds every summer so I’d have something to enter in the fair in the fall. I totally did though–and once my squash won third place!

(2) I have a bunch of qualities that “creative” people aren’t supposed to have–I’m pretty good at math, enjoy socializing and dislike being alone, have an easy time obeying orders and learning from direct instruction. The math is helpful, and so is being good at school-type contexts, but it’s a bit hard to be a writer if you don’t really like being on your own, which is why I am very glad I have this blog. And Facebook. And a good long distance plan. And friends in general.

(3) I really like cats. Really a lot (but not a psycho amount). The pathetic thing is I don’t have a cat of my own, and often, other people’s cats don’t like me. I think it is because I am too needy, and I want to play with/cuddle them more than they want to be played with/cuddled. I joke that I am a reverse cat lady because I have a happy long-term relationship with a man but can’t keep a cat interested–but really, when they sprint away from my outstretched arms and hide behind the couch, it still stings.

(4) I used to be a good driver, but after not having a car for a decade, I’m distinctly tense behind the wheel these days. I’m trying really hard to get better, but I still prefer to have a second opinion on whether it’s a good time to merge now, which doesn’t exactly inspire confidence in my passengers.

(5) I have two small titanium screws hinging my upper and lower jaws together, one right in front of each ear. If you were wondering, titanium does not set off metal detectors in airports.

(6) Of all the “amusing anecdotes” I sometimes tell at lunch or at parties, this one is the most popular:
A couple years ago, I was walking home from the grocery store (about a 6 block walk) and pulled a 600 mL bottle of Coke Zero out of the bags and began drinking it as I walked. A guy strode up from behind me on the sidewalk.
Guy: Can I have a sip?
Me: Uh, no. Sorry.
Guy: Oh, come on. I’m thirsty. Just one sip?
Me: I really can’t. (trying to walk faster, but groceries are heavy)
Guy: Come on, please (repeat several times)
Me: I’ll just give you the soda. Here.
(He refuses to take the bottle)
Guy: Is it because I’m black?
Me: No!
Guy: Well, why then?
Me: It’s because you’re a stranger! I don’t know you.
Guy: Oh, come on, I’m a good guy, etc. (followed by further badgering)
Me (now upset and confused): STRANGER! STRANGER!
Guy: (Backing away, hands up) Ok, ok. I’m a good guy you know. I’m just going to church.
Me: Ok.
Guy: So I’m going to go to church now. (He jaywalks across the street, and does in fact go into a church.)

(7) In grade 2, there was a sink directly behind the painting easel in my classroom. Sometimes centipedes would come out of the drain and live in the sink for a while, which freaked out/fascinated all the kids. Once while I was painting a picture at the easel, a centipede appeared in the sink. I was so disgusted by this that I took my brush and painted the centipede blue and yellow (this sort of reaction made sense when I was 7). When the teacher came over to look at my painting, she saw the painted centipede and admonished me: “What if I put you in the sink and painted you blue and yellow?” I thought it over and realized this was probably a fair punishment, and climbed in to the sink, which really baffled the teacher.

~~~
Here are some really sweet blogs for your enjoyment–the new winners of the Irresistibly Sweet Awards!

Candy Blog is an obvious choice for this one. Written by a playwright, but entirely separate from her creative work, the candy reviews are totally serious, well-written, detailed reviews of all the candy in the universe. Great reading if you…like candy, but also if you are looking to expand your vocabulary with ways to describe tastes and aromas. Fascinating.

The Corinna Wraps blog is a full of adorably wrapped presents and other confections made out of paper and card. It’s great if you’d like tips for gifts and favours, or even just like to look at pretty things. It’s done by my sweet friend Corinna, who also teaches workshops on how to wrap like she does. I took one of the workshops on Tuesday, and while my paper flowers came out a little wonky, I was impressed at how much she could teach even a klutz like me in only a couple of hours.

A Place is run by my dear friend Fred, but I’m pretty sure her blog would be funny and fun even for those who don’t know her. Just slice of life stuff–my favourite of the recent posts is the reviews of the foods she got out of a vending machine–but with a very charming eye for detail and a sense of humour. This blog is also 10 years old, so there is a wealth of archives to explore.

My friend Scott’s blog Letters to Henry (is it bad that I pretty much read only blogs of people I know?) is often inspiring and always interesting. I always wish for more updates (cough) but really, a fun and fascinating life away from the screen does make for better posts when they do appear.

~~~

Thanks again, Allyson, for this lovely award and a chance to gas on about myself and the blogs I like. A great start to my day!

April 21st, 2011

Rebecca’s author photo–you can vote!

So sometimes being a writer in my own little way is pretty much the best thing on earth, because it gives me license to do strange projects in the name of art, and to enlist others. Last weekend, I got to do my dream photo-shoot, which was me on a bus, being semi-serious, semi-goofball. Thanks–so much–to Dave Kemp for humouring me in this endeavour. It was as fun as I thought it would be–maybe more.

Here (below) are the links to my top 5 pictures (selected with J and the photographer’s help). What is your favourite? I can actually keep two, to use in different situations if I want, so it’s ok if you declare a tie:

Selection 1
Selection 2
Selection 3
Selection 4
Selection 5

April 6th, 2011

Quickie

I’ve been working on an awesome post-move-post, but post-moving, it turns out I’m still really busy and I haven’t finished it yet. So I just wanted to say–I live somewhere else now! And it’s fine! Kind of awesome, in fact, except for not being able to find stuff and not having a working phone line. If you want to talk to me, an electronic method is currently your best bet, followed quickly by throwing pebbles at my window. But we’re on the ninth floor, so depending on your arm…

I’ll continue to be busy for a while yet–I am reading on Friday night at the First Edition Reading Series in Perth, and a week from Friday at Hart House Review 2011 Launch back here in Toronto. If you’re in either hood on the appropriate date and have no plans…well, you’d be welcome.

In other other news…nope, nothing. I baked some cookies in my new kitchen, that’s a good step (even though I set off the fire alarm), and tomorrow some kindly people are going to come and help me assemble my bureau so I can stop living like a hobo in my own home. Some day we’ll probably even get the phone fixed, but since I spent a half hour today at the pay phone on the corner, being cold and angry and yelling at various people from Bell, I don’t have any great hope for the immediate future on that front.

On the upside, Kerry linked to this hilarious post today, and it cheered me right up. Be sure to read the comments for Stuart’s follow-up.