October 7th, 2010
Why date a writer
I’m really going to try to cut down on the number of email forwards I use as posts here, but I can’t help it; this one is funny! Some of this stuff is just untrue slanders, but not #6 and #13!
Of course, one solution to all this is just for writers to date other writers, so that both partners’ quirks will cancel each other out and you’ll be totally charmed by each others’ pretensions. I’m just sayin’…
EDIT #2: I originally posted this with a request for proper attribution, and Nicole kindly provided it–the author is Kathryn Vercillo and she originally posted the list here. However, I didn’t realize that her original commentary was something else–the list has been edited by Nitsuh Abebe and reposted here–thanks to Mo for pointing that out. I really hope I’ve got this all correct now!
1. Writers will romance you with words. We probably won’t. We write for ourselves or for money and by the time we’re done we’re sick of it. If we have to write you something there’s a good chance it’ll take us two days and we’ll be really snippy and grumpy about the process.
2. Writers will write about you. You don’t want this. Trust me.
3. Writers will take you to interesting events. No. We will not. We are busy writing. Leave us alone about these “interesting events.” I know one person who dates a terrific writer. He goes out alone. She is busy writing.
4. Writers will remind you that money doesn’t matter so much. Yes. We will do this by borrowing money from you. Constantly.
5. Writers will acknowledge you and dedicate things to you. A better way to ensure this would be to become an agent. That way you’d actually make money off of talking people through their neuroses.
6. Writers will offer you an interesting perspective on things. Yes. Constantly. While you’re trying to watch TV or take a shower. You will have to listen to observations all day long, in addition to being asked to read the observations we wrote about when you were at work and unavailable for bothering. It will be almost as annoying as dating a stand-up comedian, except if you don’t find these observations scintillating we will think you’re dumb, instead of uptight.
7. Writers are smart. The moment you realize this is not true, your relationship with a writer will develop a significant problem.
8. Writers are really passionate. About writing. Not necessarily about you. Are you writing?
9. Writers can think through their feelings. So don’t start an argument unless you’re ready for a very, very lengthy explication of our position, our feelings about your position, and what scenes from our recent fiction the whole thing is reminding us of.
10. Writers enjoy their solitude. So get lost, will you?
11. Writers are creative. This is why we have such good reasons why you should lend us $300 and/or leave us alone, we’re writing.
12. Writers wear their hearts on their sleeves. Serious advice: if you meet a writer who’s actually demonstrative, be careful.
13. Writers will teach you cool new words. This is possibly true! We may also expect you to remember them, correct your grammar, and look pained after reading mundane notes you’ve left for us.
14. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for you. Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for writing. Are you writing? Get in line, then.
15. Writers can find 1000 ways to tell you why they like you. By the 108th you’ll be pretty sure we’re just making them up for fun.
16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. But mostly writing. Hope you don’t like talking on the phone — that shit is rough.
17. Writers can work from anywhere. So you might want to pass on that tandem bike rental when you’re on vacation.
18. Writers are surrounded by interesting people. Every last one of whom is imaginary.
19. Writers are easy to buy gifts for. This is true. Keep it in mind when your birthday rolls around, okay?
20. Writers are sexy. No argument. Some people think this about heroin addicts, too.
Buy the book:
“16. Writers communicate in a bunch of different ways. But mostly writing. Hope you don’t like talking on the phone — that shit is rough.”
I have had almost relationship-ending arguments with every girlfriend I’ve ever had about this one. I hate telephones with the fire of a billion suns to the point where if I use them too often in a short period of time I start to get panic attacks. And of course nearly every relationship I’ve had over the last decade has been long-distance or with someone who communicates almost exclusively via telephone.
October 8th, 2010 at 12:36 amI am pretty sure a very small amount of tweaking makes this also the list of why date a linguist. Example: #18 is particularly true: replace ‘people’ with ‘sentences’. As for #16: keep it verbatim, and add as an addendum the comment above.
October 9th, 2010 at 2:51 pm“7. Writers are smart. The moment you realize this is not true, your relationship with a writer will develop a significant problem.”
Too true… the only people who think writers are smart, are the writers themselves. People who are actually smart are using their intelligence and talent to make the world a better place, by generating better economic models, or working at particle accelerators. Writers (and trust me on this, I consider myself one) are, contrary to that idea, 100% self-indulgent. This means that their self-image is 40% further away from reality than everyone elses self-image.
October 14th, 2010 at 4:50 pmhttp://kathrynvercillo.com/blog/2009/02/07/20-great-things-about-dating-a-writer/
October 14th, 2010 at 8:26 pmThanks so much, Nicole–I’ll update the post with proper credit straightaways!
October 14th, 2010 at 9:11 pmI just found out that Nicole Krauss and Jonathan Safran Foer are married and it made my day! Only tangentially related to this post, I realize.
October 15th, 2010 at 10:54 am[…] 20 reasons to date a writer v. 10 reasons to run […]
October 15th, 2010 at 2:05 pmWe writers are a fairly territorial lot as well. If you’re “not a writer,” we will look at anything you write with mistrust and assume the worst.
October 19th, 2010 at 6:34 am[…] list comes from writers Rebecca Rosenblum and Kathryn Vercillo. [Striked text and bracketed editorials are […]
October 20th, 2010 at 3:54 pm[…] Why date a writer. This is hilarious. It lists all the reasons why you don’t want to date a writer. And as a […]
October 22nd, 2010 at 3:39 pm#10, 13, and 14.
Had me smiling and frowning at the same time, realizing that these apply to me.
But #20 revived my mood!
October 29th, 2010 at 11:17 pmVercillo posted the original; this version is the annotated negative version from here: http://agrammar.tumblr.com/post/1127991128/offended-by-rank-objectification-of-writers
October 29th, 2010 at 11:49 pmThanks, Mo–I’ll fix the attribution! This one has been tricky!!
October 30th, 2010 at 9:38 amWell, I’m a writer and now I know why nobody wants to date me. They read this post and good for them. Saved them a lot of grief! LOL.
November 1st, 2010 at 4:24 amChrista
[…] of his most recent links was to a post on dating a writer by Rebecca Rosenblum. I might make it mandatory reading for my prospective dates in the […]
November 1st, 2010 at 5:08 am[…] seen a meme bouncing around that reveals reasons why you shouldn’t ever date a writer. It’s true, to a point. But I think it goes even deeper than that. Frankly, you should probably […]
November 3rd, 2010 at 12:56 am[…] http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/ […]
November 8th, 2010 at 10:23 pm[…] people should beware of writers. While you’re at it, don’t date writers either. (I’m kidding of course, we’re lovely, […]
November 16th, 2010 at 5:15 pmBottom line is that it is rare that 2 people trust each other. When you stick your neck out and truly trust the resulting failure is great. If you are rewarded the world is out of balance. Writers may stick their necks out farther by putting their thoughts in writing — where they are permanent. The interpretation by the reader may be the problem.
I may have expanded on Brian’s post…
November 18th, 2010 at 11:20 pmI think writing (or art in general, really) is a public (and permanent) manifestation of our innermost thoughts, desires and romances; being able to share that with a person (and hoping to be rewarded through the exchange) is really difficult, but sharing your work with a person whom you care for/deeply respect is even more risky.
November 19th, 2010 at 11:00 am[…] in general (see Chuck Wendig’s amusing Beware of Writer post and Rebecca Rosenblum’s Why Date a Writer for an idea). The gist of these posts, and it’s a gist I can agree with, is that writers are […]
November 19th, 2010 at 3:47 pm[…] http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/ <<< This one is just funny/honest. […]
November 25th, 2010 at 4:19 pmI really like this! Clever!
Goodluck!
December 21st, 2010 at 7:59 am–
haha i lol’ed at 16 its so true i have avoided phone calls with my boyfriend and everyone else i hate them i only text or email
December 28th, 2010 at 1:39 am[…] Texto traduzido/adaptado. Texto original aqui. O inglês tem a vantagem de deixar o texto sem gênero, o que torna ele geral. Como sou um […]
January 6th, 2011 at 9:31 am[…] http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/ […]
January 8th, 2011 at 9:38 pm[…] the dangers of relationships with writers: Beware of Writer: Ten Very Good Reasons To…, and Why Date a Writer, which builds off of a third blog post called 20 Great Things About Dating a Writer, not nearly as […]
January 22nd, 2011 at 10:22 amCute and clever. I very much enjoyed this.
February 9th, 2011 at 1:29 pmThis list is hilarious.
I completely agree with number 16, I hate talking on the phone, despise it. if all phones were to vanish I really wouldn’t be that bothered or if they became only text capable. that would be better.
April 23rd, 2011 at 8:06 amto me, this sounds like 20 reasons NOT to date a writer, Unless I missed something or I missed a lot of things
September 16th, 2011 at 11:31 pm#4 – Oh how horrifically true 😉
Anyone lend me a fiver?
Ta.
December 4th, 2011 at 4:17 pm[…] Some of this stuff is just untrue slanders, but not #6 and #13! Why date a writer « Rebecca Rosenblum – Rose Coloured […]
April 4th, 2012 at 10:18 pmthis is so Humorously True.. what a great piece you have here
May 11th, 2012 at 1:15 pmYou’re giving the game away! Some of us have a hard enough time getting dates, don’t dissuade people.
August 12th, 2012 at 9:05 am[…] the nice, why-you-should-date-a-writer lists have been corrected with a healthy dose of cynicism. And this piece about a breakup with a writer is incredibly sad, and also rather easy to […]
May 8th, 2013 at 11:07 pmYour summarize about writers is very good.
January 10th, 2014 at 1:39 pmYour character in this article commentary is annoying, harsh, and irritable. I only read this because it was linked on TvTropes and I doubt I could be damned to read a whole book about the main character/narrator one-upping every single person they come across with pure, unadulterated snark. Terrible. As a writer, you’re supposed to be entertaining as you enlighten. You’ve done neither of these things.
August 19th, 2014 at 12:43 pmHi OrangeAipom,
Sounds like you didn’t read the whole article–I didn’t write it (the two authors are credited) and it’s not based on or excerpted from a book. But hey, if you didn’t like it, you didn’t like it. I’m sure there are other things on the internet to read!
Best,
August 19th, 2014 at 1:23 pmRR
[…] Source: http://www.rebeccarosenblum.com/2010/10/07/why-date-a-writer/ […]
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