Rose-coloured and Mark review Milk Coffee Pocky

Back in the summer when Scott first loaned me his tape-recorder, I field-tested it by doing a joint-review of Twix Java with novelist Mark Sampson. We enjoyed ourselves and the candy, and that particular post was oddly popular according to my site meter. So I thought it would be fitting that before I give Scott back his recorder in January (good news, Scott…), we close out this tape-recording epoch with another coffee-confection review verbatim conversation transcript. I bring you me, Mark, and Milk Coffee Pocky (purchased at T&T West Edmonton Mall.

RR: This is the second review of a coffee-chocolate confectionary product by myself and novelist Mark Sampson. Hello, Mark.

MS: Hello.

RR: Thanks for doing this with me.

MS: Oh, it’s great to be back.

RR: Hold this.

MS: Certainly.

RR: Ok…mic me, not the candy.

MS: Hello, candy!

RR: So this is…Pocky, Milk Coffee…most of the rest of the label is in Japanese. There’s a picture of a cow–

MS: Licking his lips.

RR: And “+Ca” which is…calcium?

MS: Probably calcium, yes.

RR: And there 170 calories per 33 gram serving and…nobody cares about this. Ok. [crinkling noise, male laughter] Anything to add?

MS: No, I think you’ve pretty much covered it.

RR: Inside the box is a little foil bag with no English on it. A pocky is–would you like to describe a Pocky?

MS: Certainly. So it’s basically a stick of cookie that has been dipped in milk chocolate. Or in this case, I guess, coffee chocolate. Or some kind of coffee related milk product. Right?

RR: Exactly right. We are now going to each try a Pocky…stick.

MS: All right.

[chewing sounds]

RR: This tastes a shocking amount like coffee with milk and sugar.

MS: Pretty much, yeah.

RR: And like a little bit of biscuit.

MS: It’s like someone dropped a cookie in your coffee.

RR: But fished it out really fast, because it’s still crispy.

MS: Exactly.

[chewing]

RR: There’s not a lot of chocolate going on, actually.

MS: No, I don’t–

RR: Maybe it’s not really chocolate.

MS: I don’t think there really any chocolate involved here. I think it’s just coffee-flavoured…milk…

RR: Goo.

MS: Yeah. That the cookie has been dipped in.

RR: This is not–I mean, I haven’t tried all the Pocky flavours, but I’ve tried a number–this is not my favourite…There’s nothing wrong with it.

[chewing]

RR: It’s just kinda–

MS: This is a popular snack though in Asia. When I was living in Korea, over there it’s called Pepero and it has its own holiday, November 11–

RR: Ha!

MS: –because it looks like the sticks, the 1 1 1 1.

RR: But nothing to do with the war?

MS: Not at all. It’s all about candy. But a very popular snack over there, but it’s pure chocolate on top, not any of this coffee business.

RR: Yeah, chocolate or the more elaborate chocolate, like two layers of chocolate and one is white. I forget what that one is called but that kind of Pocky is really my favourite.

MS: Yeah, this one is I would have to say a bit disappointing by comparison. I kind of want that chocolaty explosion.

RR: Or at least more of the sugary goodness…as opposed to–this is quite substantially pretzel. Like the stick is a pretzel without salt, which is really not a bit draw for me…it’s more of just a method of getting to the candy.

MS: Right. Basically it’s holding the candy for you.

RR: Exactly–it’s very tidy because you don’t have to have your fingers on the melty part. So I mean, Pocky is genius, but this is just not…

MS: It’s subpar Pocky.

RR: I mean….this is six. I’d say six. It would pass, but…

MS: Out of ten? Yeah, I would say six. It passes, but…like a C-.

RR: It’s inoffensive. If this was exactly what you wanted, I’d say more power to you.

MS: I think this is what weird Japanese children would have. All the regular children would have the milk chocolate Pocky, but then there’d be the outsider who would have this. And probably stand by it.

RR: Oh yeah. And there’s also tomato…I think it’s tomato Pepero, not Pocky [note: later research reveals that in fact it’s Tomato Pretz that I’m talking about]. But, again…you know, I think a fringe member of the popular crowd could have Milk Coffee Pocky, but you’d be alone on the playground with the tomato stuff.

MS: I think so.

RR: I also notice that neither one of us has reached for a second.

MS: No. We haven’t.

RR: So I think that is worth noting.

MS: Not to say it’s bad, but it just doesn’t…knock our socks off.

RR: I’m gonna offer it to some other people–if we don’t eat anymore–and see if anyone likes it. [note: this effort was an utter failure, as *no one* would take me up on the offer, which I found odd. It’s not *that* strange a flavour–everyone knows what coffee is!!]

MS: You could take a poll.

RR: A Pocky poll!

MS: A Pocky poll.

RR: So. Yes, and thus ends the epoch of audio reviews. Mark may return in some different format in later Rose-coloured Reviews, but I’m giving back the recorder so I’m afraid in terms of transcribed conversations, this is goodbye.

MS: This is goodbye!

RR: Goodbye, Mark!

MS: Goodbye, Rebecca!