December 28th, 2010

Reverb 28

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr) (www.reverb10.com)

One thing I have learned from Reverb is that I cannot introspect for a month straight without starting to repeat myself. As I have said several times this month, the big things I want to do in 2011 is move and start a new book. There are other things I want to *happen* in 2011–*The Big Dream* being published, safe delivery of my friend M’s new baby, world peace–but I can’t really affect those. Of things I have control over, moving and the new book are paramount.

How will I feel when I live somewhere else? Uh, happy? But achieving any goal would make me happy. How about, less like someone is going to steal my bathtowel out of the basement washing machine? (this happened) Less convinced it’s only a matter of time until I get bedbugs? Oh, here’s a good one: more mature. This because I have never discarded a piece of furniture once I’ve acquired it, and I have only acquired a couple new things since I graduated undergrad. So basically, my apartment still looks like student housing and I’m about ready to be done with that.

The first two, there’s simply no way I can feel that way unless I move. For the third…I suppose maturity comes from within, I just have to *think* that way and I will feel it, blah blah blah. In reality, all steps towards the move–talking, planning, searching the listings, giving away/sorting my stuff, all feels like useful progress. So we’ll count those. Other things that make me feel mature but are somewhat unrelated to moving…doing a good job at work, not feeling awkward at a party (doesn’t happen all that often), giving gifts (who knows why for that last one, but I always do).

This is sort of a random exercise, because I don’t frankly care what *else* I can do to feel like I would if I moved; I want to actually do *that* and be done with it.