December 14th, 2010

Reverb 12

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds) (www.reverb10.com)

I don’t think I really relate to the world in these terms…Scott’s take on it pretty much articulates my general feeling of “what?” (the nice thing about doing these answers late is you can “borrow” other people’s).

But if I were really going to try to take the spirit of the thing, I’d say: swimming. I probably only swam once in 2009, and perhaps half a dozen times in 2010, so that’s already a huge increase. I used to swim 3-4 times a week, and loved it, and I think I would like to go back. I’m no athlete, just lane swimming in the “medium” lane, but it’s such a beautiful monotony–you’re moving your whole body in concert, and yet your mind is free to think about the story your working on, birthday gifts, the fate of the universe. Actually, maybe that’s the opposite of what this question is asking, but it’s a really beautiful feeling.

December 13th, 2010

Reverb 11

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson) (www.reverb10.com)

Oh, I don’t like this one at all–eleven things I don’t like in my life? I love my life; I don’t want to dwell on 11 things that are wrong with it!! So I’m not really going to do this one, but a half-assed variation instead.

I’ve just finished a detox program that I totally did not following properly–it’s really socially limiting, for one thing, to look at the labels on the bottles to see if anything has wheat in it and refuse to have milk in your decaf tea unless it’s almond milk. I think it has been beneficial for me in a few ways. But on the other hand, this sort of obsessive scrutiny of tasty foods and insistence on my own special purity when eating socially, and also the buying of insanely expensive hard-to-find weird foods, is basically an excuse to be self-obsessed for 2 weeks. I don’t really recommend it, but I did learn some stuff. So here’s 11 foods I’ve taken out of my life the past 2 weeks, and whether these are truly things I don’t need.

1. Milk–I have always been (touch wood) lactose tolerant, and I enjoy milk in tea, coffee and instant pudding, as well as on it’s own. However, according to certain dieticians, no one is lactose tolerant, and I have been deluding myself. I tried doing without dairy milk by using almond milk. It hadn’t occured to me that something with two such healthy words to describe it would be nutritionally worthless–almond milk has barely any calcium or protein, almost no other vitamins, practically no calories. It tastes ok, in tea anyway, but not all that great. I also didn’t feel any better for being lactose-free, and almond milk is expensive. Back to the cow for me.

2. Cow yoghurt–same premise as above–all that lactose is killing me softly. So I got goat yoghurt–apparently goat’s milk doesn’t have lactose in it?? Not really sure how that works, but anyway, goat’s milk yoghurt is delicious–nice and creamy, and full of useful vitamins and 35% of your daily calcium. It’s a bit sour, but you can put stuff in it–fruit or sunflower seeds or sweetner (see below). It’s expensive, of course, so I’ll maybe alternate it with also-delicious cow yoghurt.

3. Most sweetners–On this particular detox, I was permitted neither sugar nor aspertame nor sucrolose. To the healthfood store, to buy a $10 box (don’t laugh at me–it was an experiment) of stevia. I could also have had something called agave syrup, but you have to adminster that with an eyedropper, which look like a lot of work, and that cost $10 too. As far as I can tell, Stevia tastes pretty much like sugar or sucrolose (aspertame, as we all know, tastes like a combination of sugar and pennies). However, if you don’t stir your tea right away, it forms little Stevia clots and, as mentioned, it costs $10. Fine, but I am happy to return to my old forms of sweetening.

4. Wheat–Again, I consider myself happily wheat-tolerant, but apparently I am just self-deluded. I didn’t replace wheat with anything, I just didn’t eat it. I didn’t feel healthier (but I didn’t feel bad before) but I did feel like a social loser. Not eating delicious bread and cookies gave me less to talk about with people at dinners and parties (“This cookie is so delicious!” is a great opener, in my opinion) and often the wheat was blended into whatever was being served, so I couldn’t eat anything at all. I wonder if that’s what the point was, to remove the social joys from eating?? But why? Why? I do not think my life was improved by eliminating wheat.

5. Caffeine–Ok, this one was a point well-taken; I consume too much caffeine. My only defense is that a) so does everyone else and b) it’s because my life is so difficult that I need the artificial energy. And b) isn’t even entirely true, my life isn’t that difficult. I just happen to find caffeinated beverages coincidentally delicious. I believe I wrote on Rose-coloured about the last time I tried to quit caffeine, cold-turkey, which reduced me to nauseus migraines and lying on the couch for two days. This time I did it gradually over the course of several days, and the withdrawal symptoms didn’t crop up once. In fact, I think I had fewer headaches over the past two weeks, and I attribute that to the caffinelessness. However, herbal tea is no fun, and decaf green tea (at least I could put milk in it, albeit almond milk) not much better–so I’m going back to at least some caffeine some of the time, but will try to keep it at least sorta moderate.

6. Dried fruit–I don’t even care about dried fruit, really, but with so many other things denied to me, it was pretty annoying to pick all dried cranberries out of trail mix. I don’t think I’d miss them that much if they were the *only* thing I was giving up, though, so now I will go back to eating dried fruit almost never, but sometimes–I always like it well enough when I bother with it.

7. Canned meat–Well, it sounds gross when you call it “canned meat” but in truth, I pretty much live on cereal, pop, apples and pears, and tuna. Not being able to eat tuna for lunch every other day posed a very major protein problem for me, even though I do appreciate it was healthy from a mercury and salt point of view. I started having eggs for breakfast to supplement the protein, and that was fairly nice. I felt like I was eating weekend breakfast every day, and the amount of energy to pour eggs into a pan and stir until cooked is fairly minimal. For lunch I had veggies and hummus and other random things, and it was fine, but I still missed tuna. Probably this one was a good reduction and I should try to at least partly maintain it.

8. Oranges–I’m guessing this one was eliminated because they have a lot of natural sugar, but I don’t really know–I always thought oranges were healthy. I replaced them with pears, which was fine, except the tiny “Christmas oranges” came into stores during my cleanse, and it was torture! I bought a big crate of them tonight and I was pretty excited.

9. Pop–I know, I know–pop has no known nutrients, contains either tonnes of sugar or tonnes of aspertame, it’s acidic enough to eat through tooth enamel and stomach lining…but I love it! I replaced this one with water with lime juice in it, with the expected lack of excitement. It’s good to know I *can* quit the bubbly stuff…if I have to. Again, I am going back to it, but will try to be more moderate.

10. Oats–yes, even boring oatmeal is a devil food. I tried rice cereals instead, which are actually quite nice–the organic ones taste exactly like the non-organic ones, FYI, and cost 4x the price, but I enjoyed them all. I may continue to dally with them occasionally in future.

11. Shellfish–I had shrimp curry for supper tonight, and was happy. But actually, this another of the injunctions that I believe–shellfish can have some strange stuff in it, and I probably should cut down…the detox was a good demonstration that I can.

So, uh, more than you ever wanted to know about what I ate in the first half of December, eh? Of these eleven things, I’m going to make an ongoing effort to reduce my intake of 4 of them–caffeine, canned meat, shellfish, pop, and maybe make another attempt to legitimately detox in January. I’m still not sure I believe in all this stuff, but due to encountering a giant box made of chocolate and other sundry wonders of the holiday season, I feel I did not give detoxing a fair shake. In fairness to myself, however, I must point out that detoxing is really annoying.

December 11th, 2010

Reverb 10

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway) (www.reverb10.com)

I’m getting behind with these, so will just try to do one quickly before I run off to Christmas shop!

This is actually a really good question, but it’s tempting to be glib and say it was “admitting I couldn’t drive in a downpour in rural New Brunswick” or something like that. Not that it wasn’t a good decision, but…not the *wisest*…

I think the best decision I made this year wasn’t a conscious big one, but rather a series of little ones that led to me writing my book exactly how I wanted. There wasn’t a tonne of pressure on me to do any one thing, but I think we all have a critical reader living in our heads, saying, “No one cares about this stuff,” or “That’s dumb,” “Don’t be silly,” etc. I was, to a degree that surprises me, able to turn that off and write the book that *I* want to read.

The advantage of this is that I had a good time; writing is hard and sometimes stressful, but if you are writing the thing you love most, it’s a lot better. I liked doing the (small) bits of research I did, I was fascinated by the characters that I invited to live in my brain, I liked the whole process.

Do I want other people to be as enraptured by this world as I am? Of course I do, but that’s impossible; no reader could ever care as much about a book as a writer does. So, failing that, I get to write what I like. And that’s a great joy.

But I still hope other people read and “get” it.

PS–Um…that book that I’m talking about above, *The Big Dream*? It’s, uh, done now. In the main, I mean–there still might be edits, of course. But it’s a complete manuscript, a lurking scary thing on my hard drive. I just find that so weird…

December 9th, 2010

Reverb 9

Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid) (www.reverb10.com)

I’m not really getting this–is Reverb a writing thing or not? Most of these questions could be answered by anyone, but one of the first ones wouldn’t have had any answers for non-writers…mysterious!

Anyway–parties! Like most people, I started 2010 at a party full of friends, and as recently as last night was at a similar event (actually, I didn’t know all that many people last night, but it was still excellent). My favourite parties this year…oh, the bbq in Moncton that lasted for 12 hours and involved moonshine jello shots and croquet (first draft of this said “crochet”…the ladybug birthday party with ladybug everything and adorable babies…the swish engagement party for estatically happy friends (whose families know a thing or two about food)…the picnic Mark and I held in Norwood park on a so-sunny August afternoon. Ok, and the formal Christmas party I went to last week, which was fun and glamourous and all, but almost entirely overshadowed by the fact that the centrepiece was a box of chocolates and the BOX WAS MADE OUT OF CHOCOLATE!!

I may never get over that.

Reverb 8

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond) (http://www.reverb10.com)

I have always thought my strangely prominent sternum is my best feature, but I don’t know that anyone else does, or indeed has even noticed it. I don’t have any data at hand, but I really thing the distance between my collarbone and diaphram is much longer than on most people. When I put my palm flat on my breastbone, the little rise in the centre fits perfectly in my palm. I find this a calming gesture, and do it often when I’m nervous. It might make people thing I’m really honest (but I am, anyway).

Anyway, yay, sternum! I think I might be misunderstanding the question a little, but I don’t care!

December 7th, 2010

If you missed Ontario Today today…

You can still hear my little bit of chat, plus all the really sweet and happy stories the call in listeners told. Go to the Ontario Today story archive, click on the story “Love on the Line” (currently the first one, but if you’re reading this later, dated Dec 7 2010), and enjoy. I come in just before minute 7, but the whole thing’s pretty amazing!

Reverb Day 7

From Reverb: Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

You know what? It’s not a new discovery, only one I am reminded to appreciate, but it’s the community of my colleagues at work. I am so lucky to have people who are smart and funny, generous and interesting, and good at their jobs to boot, to eat lunch with and hang out with and buy birthday cards for, and occasionally commiserate about the stuff that’s not going so well.

As Ani Difranco once said, “Nobody likes their job / nobody got enough sleep,” and for me, those things could really grind away at me if it weren’t for friends who say, when you try to work through lunch, “If you don’t eat, you die.”

As for what community I would like to connect with more deeply, it’s probably writers beyond Toronto. I am rather Toronto-centric in my literary interests. Certainly not exclusively, but I feel so connected and at home here, and so interested in what is going on with writers here. But the larger Canada is my home too, and I could take a stronger interest in what’s going on outside of the GTA.

December 6th, 2010

Love & Transit on “Ontario Today”

If you happen to have some spare time around lunch tomorrow, you could use it to listen to the CBC1 show Ontario Today with Rita Celli, and then a little after 12, you’d hear me!! Talking about 2 of my favourite things, love and transit. They’re even going to let me talk to the people who call in–I’m beyond stoked!!

Reverb Day 6

Another prompt for ReverbWhat was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Cookies!! I love baking, and I’ve practiced enough to even be mildly good at it. My oatmeal cookies are my own favourite to eat–I’ve changed the recipe a little, timed the baking precisely, etc.–and thus my favourite cookie to bake. They did not sell veryw ell at the bakesale I made them for, but I enjoyed the process, so…

I grew up in a place and with friends who could make a lot of things: they could knit and sew, crochet and quilt, decorate cakes and build bookcases, grow corn and paint their own walls. They’re still my friends, and still wildly talented in all these matters. I on the other hand, once crocheted a scarf, and that’s as far as the needle arts have taken me. Woodworking didn’t even go to that extent. I think in this our division-of-labour, highly specialized world, in order to make something, you have to love the process. Otherwise it’s much easier–and probably even cheaper–to go buy the cookie or the sweater or the birthday cake at a store. It might not be as good as homemade, but then again it might be.

The scarf I crocheted is beautiful–I get a lot of compliments, and encouragement to make more. But I didn’t enjoy doing it, and it took me almost a year to make–I had to focus and concentrate so hard, because it is in my nature to be a terrible crochet-er. I’m not a natural, and more importantly, not an enthusiast–if I’m going to struggle with something, I want it to be my actual work (ie., a story) not something I do for pleasure.

But I like to bake and cook, so even when I try something hard, it doesn’t exactly feel like a struggle–a new recipe is a fun afternoon’s challenge. But I also really enjoy baking simple things, for the ease and joy of doing it and giving them to folks (and eating them). If you need any oatmeal cookies, please let me know!

December 5th, 2010

Reverb Day 5

The prompt: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley) (Reverb10)

Ah…I don’t know? No, really, sorry, I don’t–this one doesn’t seem applicable to me. I don’t think I let go of anything except some old sneakers and a pot I couldn’t get clean. I know I’m supposed to say a grudge or the torch for some lost love, or maybe some bad habit, but I just can’t think of anything.

I’ll come back to this later in the month if I think of anything.