July 28th, 2018
I unfriended a bunch of people on Facebook. Whew, there I said it. I had never done such a thing since I joined the platform in 2006. It felt really harsh, but it was starting to feel harsh just getting on there every day and seeing such a wash of opinions from people I didn’t know or sometimes like very much. And in truth, I doubt any of the 60 or so people I unfriended have even noticed, though if you are one and are here seeking answers, they are below. Here’s how I made the calls, if you are looking to make your own f-list a little more manageable and actually friendly, per below:
- Anyone I had no idea who they were. I went through the list and if I didn’t recognize the name, I clicked on their profile and looked for some identifying detail–a photo, ideally, though a surprising number of people use cartoon characters or generic-looking babies. If I couldn’t jog my memory this way, I unfriended. I felt if I could neither remember how we’d come to be FB friends nor had built up a platform-specific relationship with them over the years, there wasn’t really much point.
- The dead. I was startled to find 4-5 dead people still in my list, and though I was sorry to lose them all at the times of their passings, I felt it was ok to unfriend. I left one in who had passed rather recently, just in case whoever is monitoring the account would feel back.
- People with whom I have no interaction on FB. Many of these were nearly in the first category–I can just barely recall enjoying chatting with them at a party and thinking we’d keep in touch online, obviously something that did not work out. Others are actually people I am in touch with by other methods, but for some reason they maintain an FB account they never check, which is confusing for me with party invites and messages, which they always miss. If we don’t have this connection, I’ll remember better I have to email or text those people if I want them to actually see it.
- People with whom my style of FB-interaction just doesn’t gel. This was the only category where I hesitated, because a couple of these folks might actually notice my disappearance, and I might have to do another pass when I’m feeling braver. Some of these were actually people I just don’t like–devil’s advocate-players, shit-disturbers, a guy who said he knew what sexual harassment was like because someone was mean to him once and it was exactly the same. Others could be lovely people and some I know for a fact are lovely people, but they way they use FB is often snarky, and they probably expect me to respond in kind and I just can’t, and being addressed that way brings down my whole day.
There, so that’s how I did it. I’d be curious to know how others keep their friends list from being overrun by folks they met once in 2009–do you have a method?
January 19th, 2018
Now and next
Have I been following my new year’s resolutions? Sort of. I have been doing my meditations a bit, which is kind of nice. I’ve gone to all of my ballet classes, which are just lovely. I have been pretty quiet on social media, which has been difficult but necessary as my social-media sphere has been in a dark place with all of the recent sexual harassment and abuse violations around #canlit, and it has been such an important thing for me to listen listen listen and shut up. I’ve followed a few new people too–more tips welcome. I bought a bunch of Rubbermaid tubs last weekend but so far they are just a wonderland for the cats and I haven’t gotten around to putting anything into them. I haven’t taken my blood pressure once (what is my problem?)
So that’s now–what about next?
Well tomorrow is the Women’s March here in Toronto, and I’m so excited to march with my mom and my friend C and with so many women-identified humans and allies and to feel hopeful about defining our future (this year’s march title). Last year’s march was the brightest spot in a hard winter, and I have great hopes for this one.
Then on Monday I’m doing a reading and talk at S. Walter Stewart Library in the east end. My co-reader/talker is Mark and we’ll be talking about love and marriage and writing, of course. My friend Melanie Lafleche is the librarian who organized it all, and I’m so delighted, because after all these years of us both making our careers in books, this is our first opportunity to work together.
In early February, I’ll have a flash story (not a genre I’m noted for) on the podcast The Oddments Tray, run by Chioke l’Anson and Claire Tacon. Later that month (February 13) I’m guest host and judge at Brandon McFarlane’s Creativity Gym and sometime this winter my long-struggled-with Canadian Notes and Queries essay will finally run. And I’ll also finally take my blood pressure at some point too.
I’m also learning Adobe InDesign with a digital learning module at work. This isn’t related to anything I’ve ever mentioned previously; I’m just building to a joke here. I’m learning it via these instructional videos, but I don’t actually possess the software, so I’m just learning it my mind, theoretical-style–there’s no actual evidence that I can use it properly, or that I can’t, for that matter. The other day, someone had an issue with a page layout at work and said, Hey, Rebecca, you know InDesign, can you fix this? And I said, I know InDesign the way Schrodinger had a cat.
I think that might be the funniest thing I’ve ever said. No one else laughed, but I still believe it. And I wanted you to know.
August 30th, 2017
Social Media Policy
Someone asked me recently about how I deal with social media as a writer, which is an interesting question because I mainly just really enjoy social media as a person. The professional perks, while they exist, are mainly sidelines–very small sidelines. Writers who feel pressed to have a presence on all channels are probably being oversold on what the benefits to that might be, but at the same time, it is good to give readers some way (just one way is fine!) of finding you online and offer at least a little bit of interaction and interesting things to say, should anyone care. And of course, you have to share your readings, books for sale, etc. with the world somehow–social media is a good way to get the word out, but you need to be careful to avoid pushy self-promotion.
What is the right balance? Who knows. But because I like to share random things about myself on the internet, and hence am an enjoyer and moderately heavy user of social media, here is how I choose to use it, in the past and up until now, along with a few caveat emptor recommendations about what might or might not work for others…
Blogs and websites: I started a private blog under a nickname in 2001 as a way of staying in touch with university friends. Back then, many of them had blogs too and we were a happy little network of oversharers. Many enthusiasms waned over time but mine never did, and in 2007 it seemed relevant to start blogging publicly under my own name, since I was publishing stories and thought I might have a book on the horizon. I wanted people to be able to find me easily if they googled and find salient information (like what I had published and where they might find it) when they did. So I made the new, blogger blog, more organized and slightly less inane. Despite the rest of this long list, this is probably what I would recommend folks do if they dislike the internet but feel they have to be on it for professional reasons. Put together a simple, free site with a list of your upcoming appearances, links to publications and press, links toonline stores for your products if any, and a contact form so people can get in touch. That’s really all you need–if you set it up as a static site you don’t even need regular posts, though I still really like blogging. I moved to a personal domain and a professionally designed site by CreateMeThis in 2011, but that was really for my own pleasure, because I enjoy the site. I don’t promote the posts in any way very often, not even on other social media (though I’m going to try to get better at that), and it’s still mainly my old uni friends who read, but the site is here for anyone who wants it and every few months, I do hear from someone who googled their way here. There are no privacy settings on this website, and it would be weird if there were. Websites are for everyone.
Facebook: I joined Facebook early, in 2006, because I was back in school and could, because my friends pressured me into it, and because I had a job that left me with large swaths of free time on a computer and was bored. I remained bored on FB, mainly talking to people I talked to all the time anyway, and building out a far more detailed profile than later adopters bothered with. Now, after more than a decade, I love FB the most of all social media, largely for personal reasons. I mainly interact with friends there, but that includes friends who live far away, friends who are very busy, friends who are really more like acquaintances and who wouldn’t be up for having dinner with me but like to chat. It’s surprisingly pleasurable to still be able to ask people I knew in high school or met at a party four years ago about their kids and hobbies [caveat emptor: many people would not like this. know thyself]. It’s like living in a tiny village forever–but only in small doses. I don’t deliberately network on FB, but in truth most of the parties and events I attend are inhabited by writers and publishing people, so a lot of them end up in my feed. I won’t friend a total stranger, because I do post personal-ish stuff (photos of nieces, silly dialogues with husband, other family stuff) but my definition of a non-total stranger is pretty lax. There’s lots of writers I respect in my feed, and I do post professional accomplishments and queries there, so we talk about that stuff. But we also talk about food and cats a lot! The other writerly thing FB is good for is invitations, giving and receiving. Nothing else is as good for aggregating events from all inviters, and making sure they get to a wide swath of invitees. If I’m having a slow week (pretty rare, but) I’ll check my FB calendar to see what I might attend. And I send all my readings and launch invites out through the platform, because it ensures a large number of people see it and receive reminders. Very helpful. My FB privacy settings are pretty high, but not the highest–you can find me if you want me.
Twitter: I seem to have joined Twitter in 2009, but the memory is hazy. I mainly wanted access to one particular app, and you needed an account, so I created one. Now I have over 1000 followers, but I’m not sure why. Mainly they are literary folks, some friends but many strangers. I share writing news there, and some stuff about food and cats, as usual, but less, because the pithiness of Twitter doesn’t work for my long-winded self. Also, there’s a real community on Twitter that I have never really succeeded in getting enmeshed with, despite my many followers. I think I don’t interact with or comment on other posts enough, and I certainly don’t debate/bicker/joke around the way Twitter stars are famous for. I find it an awkwardly exposed site, because it’s very easy to for a tweet to a friend to be seen–and attacked, or mocked–by a stranger, and that keeps me rather anodyne on there. It’s too bad, because there really is a lot of great discussion going on via Tweet, but it’s just not the medium for me. I do get a lot of my news there–or rather, I find out something is news there, then google it and get longer-form pieces, because that’s just how I am. I have no privacy settings on my Twitter, because it’s pretty all or nothing with that site.
Goodreads: Goodreads turned up later than the above but I don’t actually know when or why I joined. I know most writers are pretty strongly urged to as a way of marketing their work, and for those who are a huge deal with a large following already, that does work–they have lots of questions being sent their way and Goodreads is a convenient way to aggregate them. But for those of us with a small, quiet group of readers who often don’t really have any questions, it’s hard to do much marketing via Goodreads–I think I’ve been only contacted a couple times that way, and those were obnoxious. Also, you can see reviews of your own books on Goodreads but really shouldn’t–it’ll just make you anxious. I do like Goodreads, though, but as a reader not a writer. It’s a convenient spot to keep track of what I’ve read, and also to scan down my friends list to see if anyone else has read the same stuff–and then I send that person an email about it in a non-GR context, because I don’t understand the in-platform communications at all. I suspect there’s lots more I could be doing. I do not have privacy settings on my Goodreads, and suspect I would not really understand them if I tried.
LinkedIn: LinkedIn is the only form of social media I do not find entertaining. I maintain an account that mainly focuses on my 9-5 job, though it does mention the writing as well. It’s pretty up-to-date and not that interesting. I use it for basically nothing–sometimes I get in touch with former coworkers or freelancers that way if I don’t have another contact method for them, and very occasionally I reach out to people I would like to hire or people who would like me to hire them. Most people, in my opinion, use LinkedIn badly–but perhaps it is me that does. I’m not going to connect with a stranger just because they send me a request, and having a bajillion contacts is not going to get you a job if you don’t know any of them. I do not read any of the feeds or promoted articles. Basically I figure this is a good professional thing to have–if I try to hire someone and they google me, I want them to find this account very staid and reassuring so they will come work for me. Ditto if I want someone to hire me–when I need a new job in the future, I’ll have this all set up, so that’s good I guess. Otherwise, I don’t really see the point of LinkedIn–and I’m baffled by what people use it for in their creative careers. I don’t think one gets gigs as “fiction writer” via LinkedIn–but who knows? I have privacy settings on this account, but they’re pretty minimal.
Instagram: Just when I thought social media was dying and I would never love anything new again, Instagram! Instagram is fun and pretty and friendly! It’s also quick and simple–you post a picture, people see it, maybe they like it, maybe they say something about it but often they don’t. That’s fine! Instagram is about sharing interesting things to look at or bits of your life or both, not bickering about finer points of whatever or getting people to agree with you. It is very simple and pleasant. Yes, one can promote their own work on Instagram–there’s whole worlds on the site devoted to promotion of various commercial goods–but even more so than with other sites, you really need to slide that in with a bunch of other stuff. As a visual, a single book cover–or a single face–gets old really fast.
And that’s it–everything I do publicly in the social media space. I have a few communication apps as well but not the ones you use socially–you have to actually, like, know my phone number in order to contact me. Is this way too much? Oh, for sure–but I like it, it’s recreation. I don’t touch Goodreads, LinkedIn, or my blog most days, and only check in on Twitter and Instagram for a couple minutes. Facebook…yeah, that’s a time suck, and blog posts like this can be too, but like I say, I enjoy it. As promotional tools, I would say most forms of social media have limited returns if you’re not there for the sake being there first and foremost–if you find you hate a platform, it’s fine to shut down your profile, and if you find you hate all social media, it’s fine to keep just one platform and update it in limited but friendly way when you have news to share. There’s really other stuff we could all be doing.
April 11th, 2016
Social Media News
Well, I have obtained more than 1000 followers on Twitter (1004 at press time), thereby officially proving that I have no idea how Twitter works. I’ve grown to like Twitter over the years–I see a different set of people there than those I see on Facebook or blogs and those people are interesting. The subset I actually interact with is small, perhaps less than 100 people. Maybe less than 50, I haven’t done analytics on it, but my average post gets between zero and two likes, and almost never any responses–and those I do get come from people I know in reality. I don’t mind–that seems fair considering how few posts I like or respond to myself. I am a low-dosage twitter user, for sure, and I use it to bolster relationships that would be pretty fine without it. I’ve made maybe two new friends the entire 21 years I’ve been online (Hi, Kate! Hi, Emily!)
SO WHO ARE THOSE OTHER 900 PEOPLE? I’m baffled. Well, not entirely–some are bots, and some are fellow literary types who were told by crazy people that following a lot of people on Twitter “builds your brand.” So they joined, followed hundreds of people in the lit world, and then immediately stopped using twitter. There are also savvier twitter users who still believe I’m worth following but then figure out how to devise “lists” so they can prioritize the tweets they actually want to read. I have not figured out how to do that, and don’t care because I don’t follow that many people myself, but I do think twitter lists are probably a good idea. Anyway, I figure a lot of people don’t have me on their lists, begging the question why follow me at all, but it wouldn’t be twitter without mystery. So why do I have 1004 followers? I don’t know, but I’m…appreciative of the interest, I guess, and I do hope those 900 people who never say anything to me are getting something out of the deal.
And as if this weren’t enough internet pointlessness, I’ve joined Instagram!! Yes, I know, why? Mainly because a bunch of my friends stopped posting photos of their pets, vacations, children, food, and weddings on Facebook and I want to seeeeee those things. I said I wasn’t going to post anything and then immediately posted photos of my family (me, husband, cats), a cake I made, and a Jiffy tray full of seeds that haven’t sprouted yet (so, essentially, a jiffy tray full of dirt). RR–spreading her brand of nonsense to new frontiers!!! But you can follow me if you want to see any of the above. Or for some other reason that I will never divine, as has happened with twitter.
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