May 29th, 2020

Pandemic Diary May 12 to 20

Day 61: I was looking at one of my plants this morning, thinking it had grown a bit but I wasn’t sure exactly how much. Then I thought, well, I should count the leaves on all my plants and keep a tally, and then when I update it, I will know how much they’ve grown. I held this thought in my head for perhaps 120 seconds as a reasonable plan, so…that’s not great.

(2) Following a lunch-hour video chat with a friend, I pop into Mark Sampson‘s office:
MS: What were you guys talking about? I heard The Force Awakens, The Dark Knight, Catwoman–what’s the connection?
RR: Well, The Force Awakens was my mistake–I thought it was a Batman movie but it’s not.
MS: No, it’s not.
RR: Don’t worry, K told me–and he made that face you’re making right now, too.
MS: You can tell him I agreed. You have failed a major nerd shibboleth.
RR: Ok, ok. He just wanted to tell me about when in one of the Batman movies Michelle Pfeiffer fell out a window and died and was re-animated as Catwoman because cats licked her.
MS: Yeah, that didn’t really make sense…didn’t make a lick of sense, haha. I think that was…Batman Returns??
RR: Sounds like a good movie!
MS: It wasn’t…
RR: How did you overhear exactly those words, the only things in the conversation that would have interested you?
MS: I was just walking past your office to go to the bathroom?
RR: It wasn’t your nerd senses tingling…??

(3) Here’s a new minor pandemic problem, which is likely tmi but, you and me, facebook, we’re past that. When I am cold and then go somewhere not-cold, my nose runs for a few minutes. I have no idea if this is something that happens to other people or is a unique-to-me gross problem–it’s so minor that it never occurred to me to mention to anyone until just now (the bar just keeps getting lower!) I carry tissues during the cold months, wipe my nose a few times when I come in from outside–problem solved! Except now, when I am sometimes wearing a mask covering my nose and mouth and it’s really quite cold outside, the problem is starting to seem insoluble. I take seriously the advice not to touch a mask once it’s on (which is why mine sometimes scoot up towards my eyes and I just let it, resulting in me looking like I’m peering over a book at everyone) and even if I could figure out how to create a little internal nose-guard for the masks, I can’t afford to do without any more air, as I’m already finding breathing a challenge in these things…. So, this is just going to go on until the cold weather ends, which the way things are going is maybe never, right?

(4) Ok, last post for the day (probably)–anyone want to recommend a really good old-school pizza place that delivers in Saint James Town? I like the thin-crust Neapolitan pizzas that places like Libretto have, but I’m after the big family-size thicker-crust ones that places like Vesuvio and Bellissimo do (we’re in the delivery zone for neither of those, natch). Maybe it’s called New York-style pizza? I don’t hate the mass-produced stuff either–it’s fine!–but it’s not the thing I’m looking for right now. Anyway, I want this certain type of pizza and normally it’s no trouble to just go to where I know it is, but now it’s kind of trouble, so maybe you know somewhere good that could come to me? [edited to add: we wound up ordering DoorDash from Jessy’s pizza in Roncy, which is primarily an east-coast chain with one Toronto outpost. It was really too far to order delivery from and the food was late and cold, but still pretty good.]

Day 62: Normally I don’t join “community pages” on FB because I don’t have time and because a percentage of the posts on those pages always drive me up the wall. During the pandemic, I’ve joined a couple since I do have time and in the hopes that I will find ways to help others. My ability to help has been limited–most people need things that involve a car or a bike or knowledge I don’t have–but I’ve been able to do a few tiny things. I have really been awed by the generosity and ingenuity of others on those pages though–what they have been willing and able to do for others, usually for total strangers, is an inspiration, and the reason I’ll stick with the pages and keep looking for ways to help.

However, the things that irritate me about these pages are present in the pandemic too, and I have time now to really obsess. Will you allow me vent here, hopefully harmlessly?

Scenario #1: Someone posts a very specific request for help, like this: “I’d really like to get a nice birthday cake for my boyfriend, but it’s hard during the pandemic because I don’t have transportation and I’m stuck in the east end, plus our funds are very limited and he’s lactose intolerant. Any suggestions of a place we might be able to find something good?”

And mixed in with the helpful responses, there’s always quite a number like this:
a) My sister runs a bakery in Etobicoke that you would love! They don’t deliver but it’s worth it to go!
b) Oooh, I know a really great place that does cheesecakes. I know you said he’s lactose intolerant but maybe he could just, like, eat the crust?
c) Cake is terrible for you, and at this time when we should all be trying to be healthy. I strongly suggest a protein powder.
d) I’m sorry, what is this for?
e) have you tried googling “cake” and seeing what comes up?

Scenario #2: There’s a productive discussion going on of a way of handling something or a general best practice that will work for most people. Folks are sharing their experiences and perspectives and trying to include lots of room for variation, but there’s always that one person–Captain Awkward calls him Edge Case Bob–who insists we definitely need to include the possibility that sometimes that doing something bizarre/terrible might also be right, and derails the whole conversation. Like this:
A: So we agree that, in general, when you get on the subway during the pandemic, you move as far away from other riders as possible and try to stay aware of where everyone is through the ride, in order to give them their space?
Bob: What if someone needs help, though?
C: Of course, that’s part of awareness–we would want to pay attention to someone asking for help and evaluate our distance based on what they need.
Bob: What if they have laryngitis though? What if a person with laryngitis needs help?
A: Well…we would want to be looking around a bit too, at least once in a while, to see if anyone is signalling or looking like they are in distress…
Bob: What if they are wearing a poncho so their signals are invisible?
A: Umm…
C: Well…
Bob: Wouldn’t it just make more sense to immediately start a shoulder rub without asking for everyone who gets on the subway car with you, while screaming ARE YOU OK? just to be on the safe side?
D: I’m sorry, what is this about?

Me again: I’m obviously exaggerating but not. that. much. Thank you for letting me vent. I will go back to the largely great, supportive posts and try to ignore the rest now.

Day 63: Remember way back at the beginning of the pandemic (oh, attentive readers) when the building turned off my water and I was scrupulously prepared? Well, they did it again and at the end of week nine, I prepared nothing! I saw the signs, I knew it was today, I just didn’t connect the water in the building being turned off with me, personally, not having any…I wonder how many IQ points i have actually lost during the lockdown? Anyway, today sucks.

(2)

So my new masks came in the mail today, right before a work meeting. I set them down on my desk and got on the call. After a while, the subject turned to something that doesn’t involve me and I started absently playing with the masks and, eventually, of course, tried one on (yes, I know I should not have done this without washing it–I was very very not thinking). I was actually looking at the self-view pane to adjust the straps without thinking people could see me because I was mainly listening to the meeting and just being a space cadet until I saw one of my colleagues laughing.

SO yeah, tomorrow is week 10, everything is going amazing, these Olive and Splash masks seem quite nice, yes I am going to wash them I wonder if I will get fired for being an idiot who doesn’t know how cameras work?????

Day 64: My Roma tomato seedlings have raged out of control and my previous plans to plant all but a couple of them do not exist in pandemic land. Could you use one/several? They are pretty big and strong, not hardened off yet but I can do that depending on your timeline. Obviously my mobility is limited but I’d walk pretty far to give someone the gift of tomatoes. I’d just put them down six feet from you and walk away, promise. Lmk!!! #tomatoes #plants #plantsmakepeoplehappy

Day 65: Day 65: I love TV but under normal circumstances do not watch all that much, and having it be a constant instead of a treat has been making me like it less, particularly the need to choose something new to watch every 22 or 44 minutes. I complained about this to Mark and he curated me this list of movies he thought we could enjoy together. It made me so happy, both to feel so seen in the choices he made and that each movie is an evening’s entertainment that I didn’t have to decide on. I mention this both in order to recommend the movie The Half of It, which is the first one from the list, which we watched last night and was amazing–just a beautiful funny coming of age movie about small-town life and love and friendship. The tagline is “Not every love story is a romance,” which you know is my jam. And also to recommend a personalized entertainment list as something anyone can do for someone else they know well–not “I like this, everyone else should too” but “Here are things I picked out just for you to enjoy.” You can do it for people you don’t live with, important in these times, it’s free, and it’s such a lovely gift. But also, maybe everyone should watch The Half of It–it was really good.

Day 66, 7:43pm: I had a really nice day today, including a beach walk, a group call with friends and another with family, some really nice meals, and some chores done, but I have to admit that most days around this time, I calculate how long until I can reasonably go to bed.

Day 67: I was sent a gift via Amazon yesterday and I guess it was stolen? I haven’t ordered from them in a long time but apparently now they send a picture of the package by the door and that certainly is my hallway carpet, but twenty minutes after the stated delivery time when Mark came home, no package. The whole thing is unsettling because while they could have delivered it to the wrong door (carpet is the same throughout the whole giant building), if it was stolen, it was probably a neighbour, since pandemic and no one is having guests. I guess another delivery person could have taken it but that seems unlikely. I have said many times that my neighbours are largely uninterested in being my friend but they seem decent enough people and I know them all by sight–just such an odd feeling. Perhaps the gift will eventually emerge from another floor, delivered by accident, but it seems much more likely that I will never know exactly and continue to feel vaguely suspicious of all my neighbours until, gradually, I forget about it.

(2) After Saturday’s kvell over a TV-viewing win, things have taken a real nose-dive. I have been procrastinating watching the end of Greenberg for a couple days because the rest of the movie is so repellant, and then last night I watched the series finale of How to Get Away with Murder instead. SPOILER WARNING! I knew the show had degenerated into basically a soap operate at this point, with an incest plot line (???) that the writers seemed both reluctant to explain (because so gross) yet dependent on to make the plot work. There were also way too many characters this season, to the point that no one really got enough screen time to care about what was happening to them. Two central characters who had been on the entire six seasons died completely unexpectedly (well, to me) in the last 10 minutes and there was no follow up about them–I was actually upset about that. And then there was a weird happy ending 40 years in the future where it was clear that certain insoluble problems had resolved with no explanation given–a couple that had broken up was together, someone who was in the witness protection program was present as her self, someone who was in prison was out!! And it just ended like that–work it out yourself, we’re tired, the writers seemed to be saying. You can tell by this summary that show was bonkers bonkers bonkers, but still…sort of interesting in its complete abandonment of coherence. An inspiration really.

(2)

Day 68: Mark is having a terrible time wearing masks–both of the two designs we have slide down his face within minutes of being put on, requiring constant readjustment, which of course defeats the purpose of wearing a mask.

Today after watching this happen for quite a long time (and while my own mask stayed firmly in place):

RR: It’s your tiny WASP nose! It’s not anchoring the mask firmly enough.
MS (hangs head like Charlie Brown)
RR: If your nose were just a little bigger…
MS: No one’s nose is shaped like a wasp…OH!
RR: …really?
MS: I get it now.

(3) Pre-pandemic, I wrote an essay about creating a literary archive for Hamilton Review of Books and it’s out now, allowing me to pretend to be productive in pandemic times. Thanks so much to Noelle Allen for the invitation, encouragement, and editing, and to HRB for giving this little piece a home. http://hamiltonreviewofbooks.com/blog/2020/5/15/creating-a-literary-archive-by-rebecca-rosenblum?fbclid=IwAR3Ow7uLnjvOM_jvl8Vjngd9qWZr_6bItJ1f5p1a9WdFfCQ96lsGc135x_I

Day 69: They tested our fire alarm AGAIN this morning–our fire alarm is in such tiptop shape, I never realized the vigilance until I was home every day to witness it. That took about 30 minutes and then they started testing one in a neighbouring building and, since it’s a lovely day and windows are open, I can hear that too.

I got a birthday present in a giant box yesterday (NOT STOLEN!) and Alice now lives atop the box. This is the thing that has made her happiest in the whole pandemic, so it’s basically a present for Alice–I can never open it.

I am slowly giving away my tomato seedlings (sneaky trick–every time I meet up with someone to give them seedlings, I get to see their lovely face and have a precious minute of conversation #winning) but I still have more, and they are getting to be hardened off now. Not to late to claim a couple if you’d like–let me know!

The one person in my work department who is allowed into the office reports that my office plant–Mr. Planty–is doing quite well, and I am very grateful. I will come back for him someday, I will!

(2) We tried a brief physically distant visit with Brandon McFarlane and Hilary June Hart at lunch in a park today–it was great! Friends are the best! It was a little awkward trying to stay apart and wearing a mask and everything, but really nice. Also, this very weird thing happened: we were sitting on a low rock wall with the requisite six feet between us, so taking up a lot of space, but there was still a lot of wall leftover. A kid of perhaps 9 or 10, all but engulfed from forehead to hips in a grey cammo hoodie and riding and then carrying a scooter, climbed up on the wall behind B&H–facing me, but sort of glowering over them from behind. I motioned that we should get up because–well, it seemed best, and none of us was really in love with the rock wall (which turned out to have been quite dirty) anyway. The adults responsible for the kid saw us scoot away and called apologies after us, and then started remonstrating with the kid in another language. I felt bad, because while the moment had been undeniably weird, it was only a moment and kids have a hard enough time knowing how to be with strangers without being pulled out of society for two months. SO much remonstrating. Man, it must suck to be a kid right now. I mean, it sucks to be anyone in a pandemic but… Well, anyway, friends and parks–recommended!