July 9th, 2009
Life
This morning, as I planned this post, it was going to be titled “Life is Good”, because:
1) the Joyland Joyathon last night was so amazing and fun and funny and well-attended by awesome people (most of the pictures turned out terrible, due to failures of both technology and technician [though they are still available on Facebook, if you feel the need], but here’s a decent one of Brian Joseph Davis and Emily Schultz kicking off the festivities:
2) I’m heading to pretty Kingston for the weekend.
So, yes, life is good, but it’s also life, and we struggle to keep up as best we can. Onward. I’ll be back in a couple days, with tales of jails and ghosts and Greek food, we hope.
I’ve been an irresponsible son
RR
July 7th, 2009
Get Joy
Just a reminder that I’ll be a part of the Joyland Joy-a-thon, which is part of the Scream Literary Festival. The event starts at 8pm Wednesday at the Stealth Lounge at The Pilot in Yorkville.
Ok, that’s the practical details–the impractical ones are a) it’s gonna be awesome, b) the first reader is Claudia Dey so don’t be late, c) there’s cover, but it’s PWYC and it’s for the awesome cause of a Joyland *tour*, d) it’s hosted by Emily Schultz and Brian Joseph Davis so, yeah, awesome, e) I’m one of the very last readers and it’s an “athon” so I won’t be hurt if you have to go to bed before I take the stage–you should still come out for the other readers and f) there’s raffles in which you can win BOOKS!!
I thought you wanted me
RR
Rose-coloured reviews *36 Little Plays about Hopeless Girls*
36 Little Plays about Hopeless Girls is playing at Bread & Circus as part of Fringe Toronto, which means time is of the essence! There’s a showing almost daily until July 12 (see the play-title link for schedules) and then that’s it–opportunity window shut.
As you might be able to tell from the above, I am suggesting you see this play. Maybe you don’t need me to tell you this; it’s one of the buzz plays of the Fringe this year, and I heard later it elicited similar delight when it played two years ago Tranzac. I live in a box and the reason I wanted to see it is that my former classmate is in it and she posted it on her Facebook page and I like hopeless girls (empathy). I hadn’t even realized the Eye article I posted last time was a cover story until my partner-in-playgoing pointed it out, and suggested we go the $2 surcharge and get advance tickets (which was a good idea, as the show sold out).
So what’s so awesome about *Hopeless Girls*? It’s smart, it’s sharp, and it’s funny. It’s got whole-cast dance numbers between the little plays that are beyond charming–someone took the time to arrange pop songs (think Hey Ya as Muzak), and to choreograph 30-seconds of movement that really work for a dozen girls on a tiny stage, and they are executed really well–not only does everyone keep time, they look like they’re having a ball.
The characters in the plays are having less fun than their performers. The girls aren’t hopeless in big dramatic ways–no one’s on a quest for alchemy or perfect love or eternal youth. Instead, they are just trying to get noticed by their mothers, get through a work day without anyone being rude to them, survive the commute home. The plays are indeed little and so is the drama contained within them, but that makes the moments of recognition from the audience so bountiful and delightful. I definitely know about the weird way I don’t like myself when I squish a bug, how disgusting “other people’s ketchup” is, how sometimes I wish I could just lie down on the sidewalk for a minute and catch my breath. And I’ve heard that *exact* “You really still eat dairy? It’s not natural, you know!” comment several times (something that, in me at least, elicits the ironic silent reaction, “Cow!”)
I like the exaggerated modesty of the play–even props that could easily have been provided (magazines, hairbrushes) are made of cardboard. The only set is a table and chairs, and those are also covered with cardboard–leading to a semi-magical space, where everything is realistic but not quite real. This is deepened by the characters’ long elegant not-quite-real-in 2009 names–Melisande, Antoinette, Effervescence–and the fact that everyone wears a pretty pastel party dress. The disjunct of a club-scene girl sprawled on her bedroom floor complaining about being cold…while wearing a pink summer frock…is funny and somehow poignant.
This modesty belies how professional the production actually is. *36 Little Plays* is flawlessly rehearsed–everyone hits their marks, gets their props in the right place, and manages their entrances and exits smoothly–important details that are often missed in low-budget theatre. And of course I need to emphasize that the writing is extremely tight, too. Each vignette is smart and well-crafted, but the larger play coheres as well, in some strange and fascinating ways. The subtle interweaving of the characters’ narratives brought home the notion that a hopeless girl’s greatest ally and greatest weakness in times of trouble is…other hopeless girls. The overpowering sense of community towards the end was really interesting.
There is a small quirk to the play, a strange creature named Nifa whose presence, even when eventually explained, made very little sense to me. She only shows up a few times, gives rise to a few good jokes about panel vans, and doesn’t really impact the proceedings at all. In fact, the character added so little that I forgot to even mention her in the post-viewing dinner-discussion. It was only the next morning that I was like, “Oh, the hell?” If you see the play and the Nifa strand works for you, I’d be curious to know why. But even if it doesn’t, that’s a small small matter in a giant work of little plays.
Five days left!
It’s good to lay awake all night
RR
July 6th, 2009
What we talk about when we talk about nothing
D: Aspertame isn’t really bad for you, you know. That’s a myth.
Me: Whew!
A: So how come I get a headache every time I have it?
D: It might be bad for you personally. Some people are allergic to aspertame, but some people are allergic to trees and grass, and I’m unwilling to accept that those are objectively bad things.
J: I’m not so crazy about grass, actually.
Me: I love hearing about what you hate! How can you hate grass?
J: It’s all poky! And full of bugs.
Me: I sat on some nice grass this weekend. It was sort of dying, so it was all limp and soft.
A: Dead grass is the most poky. It’s like straw.
Me: Dying, not dead. It had just gone limp, but it hadn’t dried out yet.
D: It was losing turgor pressure.
Me: Exactly.
J: So that’s the secret–almost dead grass. Huh.
I can’t believe what they’re saying / I can change my mind
RR
Professional Interviews: Mary, assistant manager in a tack shop
Interview #3 in this series, if you are keeping track, still taking advantage of my friends’ patience as I am as yet too timid to interview strangers. For urban readers, a tack shop is a saddlery, a place that sells equipment for horseriders, competitive and recreational, and for the horses themselves.
What is your job? I’m in sales, shipping, and I’m assistant manager, 2nd within the chain of command.
How did you get that job? By chance. I was laid off for the winter from the nursery [plants, not babies] that I was working at and my friend who owns a horse farm needed some help because her dad, who usually helped her out in the barn, was having bypass surgery. So while he recuperated she needed a hand and I needed something to do. I worked for her through the winter and summer while looking for another job (I had decided not to go back to the nursery when they asked since they weren’t going to give me back my management position).
A typical shift for me: I get there are 8:45, unlock, turn off alarms, turn on lights (and fans, if it’s summer, turn on the Open sign, take sale or feature items out to the porch. And water my plants! Load computers, count change in the till, count out bills to add to the till…then, if no customers have come in, I’ll answer any emails that need answers and print off any online orders that need to be filled, check the fax machine for fax orders, check the log book for phone and other orders have come in [since my last shift]. I’ll go get the required items from around the store to fill the orders. If large quantities or a large item is require, I’ll fax a request to the company warehouse and have them check their stock since it’s easier for them (but if they don’t have what’s needed, I’ll pull it from the store). If no one has it, I call the customer to suggest something else. Once an order is filled, I got omy till, look up the customer (or add the info, if they aren’t in the system) and run their credit card through. If all goes well, I put the order into shipping and receiving for my boss to take to the warehouse.
I also answer the phone, I set up meetings with suppliers, I sit in on those meetings, take stock of items required to fill the store, and help any customers that need me. But the mail-order takes up the majority of my day.
What makes you good at your job? Knowledge of horses and livestock and the fact that I ride all the time. People don’t want and don’t trust advice from someone who has no contact with horses. I have very good customer service skills and excellent phone manners. And I know what’s going on in the horse world, since I got to shows, know rules and regulations, things like that. Even rodeos.
What sort of person would hate your job? Someone who doesn’t know the horse world; they wouldn’t be able to give good advice. Someone who doesn’t like helping people; there’s a lot of 1-on-1. You can’t have issues with people who come into the store.
Favourite item in the store? A brand-new Billy Cook barrel saddle, the new design. It has a natural coloured rawhide-wrapped horn and cantle… As opposed to the natural light colour, it’s a chestnut. Even the roughout leather on the fenders and jockey skirt are a chestnut colour. It’s very comfortable to sit in. It makes me debate whether to trade in my current saddle. But I don’t think I will.
Final statement: To ride a horse is to fly without wings!
July 2nd, 2009
Culture Clash
Strangely, this year the Toronto Fringe Festival runs from July 1 to 12, while the Scream Literary Festival will run July 2 to 13. Strange because these are both such amazingly awesome weirdy cultural events that appeal to so many of the very same people (both as attendees and likely as volunteers) that you’d think they wouldn’t want to compete. But who knows, in the world of schedules and venues, what hardships these two teams suffered from, so all we can do is thank our stars we at least have 2 weeks to jam in as much as we can.
If you held a gun/dayplanner to my head, I’d have to come out for lit over theatre, so I’ll be hoping to see you at Stet: Redacting the Redacted, the Joyland Joyathon (well, I’m participating in that!), and of course the big mainstage reading on July 13. But there should be world enough and time to sneak in at least 36 Plays about Hopeless Girls, if not a couple others.
Really, when you have to complain about having too many alternatives for fun, you are really scraping the bottom of the complain barrel. Oh, Toronto, you rule my heart!
Our home and native land
RR
July 1st, 2009
Oh, Canadian spellings
Colour vapour labour odour realize analyze vapourize glamour (but glamorous) jewellery ageing cheque judgment lasagna gonnorhea etc.
June 30th, 2009
Professional Interviews: Kimberly, Registered Massage Therapist
Another in my series of interviews about people’s jobs, because that’s something I’m interested in. Please note that I am still at the stage in learning interview technique where I only do people I’ve known 19+ years, and I’m still fiddling with the format. Please also note that the tone of this interview might have been affected by the fact that Kimberly will shortly be leaving the profession.
Kimberly defines registered massage therapist as “a licenced health-care practitioner who uses their hands, forearms and elbows to manipulate muscles and soft tissues of the body to decrease pain and increase a person’s range of motion.”
Kim works at a spa 1 day a week, and a clinic the rest of the time. She says at the start of their careers, “Most RMTs work in at least 2 different places just so they can get enough clients. Then they gradually switch to 1 place as they build up a client base.
RR wanted to know the difference between registered and non-registered massage therapists…it turned out to be a big issue! Kim says, “RMTs have been to school and are licenced by the province they work in, they have liability insurance, and we follow standards regarding hygiene, sanitation issues…someone who is a ‘body worker’ (RR could hear the quotation marks) may not necessarily clean the sheets between clients, doesn’t have a knowledge of anatomy and physiology, they could injure you, they wouldn’t know how to work with a health concern and the type of massage that they would provide would likely be for relaxation only…or for ‘other’ purposes…
“I have an interesting story about that. There’s a place near where I live that had aromatherapy/body massage, which was a cover for a rub-n-tug. And the police found out and the place was fined $1000 for not having a licence for operating that sort of establishment (RR is surprised such licenses are available). What makes me angry is that RMTs have to work so hard to be professional because there’s these places (sigh)…If an RMT were to work inappropriately in any way, and they were caught by our governing board, they would probably be fined around $10 000, stripped of their licence and ostracized by the community. It’s crazy.
“My friend M is a massage therapist at a high-end day spa. She had a client ask her for a ‘release’ at the end of his massage. And he knew she was registered and it was a reputable place. That’s one of the drawbacks of being an RMT, especially if you are a young woman.”
What are some of the pluses? “You get to work one-on-one with people, and people get really close because there’s sort of a friendship that’s built between therapist and client. And you get to see the difference you can make in someone’s life by taking away chronic pain or stiffness, just using your hands. I especially like massaging pregnant women, even though it’s more difficult, because they benefit more from having a massage, because of the way your body changes during pregnancy. Sometimes during a prenatal treatment, you’ll see the baby react to the massage and you can tell that they enjoy it too. Which is really neat.”
What is a typical day like? (we did a day at the spa, because K thought that’d be more interesting than the clinic; hours at the clinic are also longer and more irregular) “At the spa, I work 9 to 5, doing a max of 6 1-hour massages with 15 minutes between. If I’m lucky, the administrative staff won’t book any back-to-back (at the clinic, she books her own) and I will get a lunch, but I’m not always lucky. Sometimes, I have to wolf down a granola bar between appointments. When you are massaging, you are standing 95% of the time, so you are always hungry.
“I usually stretch for a good 20 minutes before work, which is unusual…I think a lot of RMTs forget. Coincidentally, a lot of RMTs injure themselves with tendinitis, carpal tunnel, nerve problems, that sort of thing.
“Where I work, we have to pull each person’s file, have a little mini-interview to find out if there have been health changes and what areas are causing them pain. And then we leave the room while they get on the table. Most people have a full-body massage but occasionally, half a body is more conducive to a therapeutic treatment.
“During the massage, most women tend to talk for a bit and then sort of relax, whereas most men tend to talk the whole time. Especially if they’re a first-time client. Within the first 10 minutes, men will tell me their weight, how much weight they can lift, and whether or not they’re dating someone. It follows a pattern every time, it’s creepy. Most women just sort of veg out.
“I’ve learned from experience that it’s better to answer questions about me in vague terms. The front desk handles all the books and payment, and linen services does the linens. Which is the ideally convenient situation for an RMT, although it’s not as profitable as owning your own clinic and doing it all yourself.”
What sort of person would be a bad fit for this job? “You shouldn’t be an RMT if you need a predictable regular paycheque, which is one of my biggest complaints. If you have any physical problems, [you shouldn’t do this] because it’s a very physically demanding job. If you are a very loud person, that wouldn’t be good, either. You need to have a voice that’s conducive to relaxing. And if you have any weird aversions to people’s feet or bad skin or body odour, or any of the other possible quirks you clients might have, [this isn’t the job for you].
“The person who should be an RMT is professional, committed to healing pain naturally, likes long periods of time when they can think, and ideally has some time they can afford until their business is profitable. It also helps to want to be your own boss.”
Kim adds this note to you, the blog reader: “The worst part of the job is when a client doesn’t show up for their appointment and you’re left waiting for them, not knowing if they’re late or just not coming. So you wind up wasting your time and not getting paid. So tell your blog-readers to keep their appointments!!”
You’re like an Indian summer / in the middle of winter
RR
Life is unfair
Another line I love but had to kill:
“…his mother with her stiff vegetarian hair, worrying about her chickens back in Austin tended by a neighbour child with a lisp and a nosering.”
RR
June 29th, 2009
Web presence
My audiobook debut edges ever closer–Rattling Books has made me an author page for my contribution to Earlit Shorts 4. And now I know that my partners in audio shorts are Chris Benjamin, Michael Collins, J.J. Steinfeld and Leslie Vryenhoek. I’m stoked!
In other news:
1. I had a lovely weekend and was only outside during the sunny parts.
2. I’m starting to be ok holding babies, although only if a) the parents are present and b) the baby is awesome.
3. Ontario strawberries!!!
4. I’m the least-efficient writer ever.
5. This week has a holiday in the middle of it!
6. Yay, everything (except #4)!
And the girl at the top wearing tulle
RR
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