October 31st, 2007


Ok, I’m not exactly the vampire that I planned to be when I realized that I was getting my braces off the week before Hallowe’en. Yesterday I went back to the orthodontist’s to pick up my retainer and they informed me that it is not just for at night, it’s for all the time unless I am eating, brushing my teeth or doing something very very important and enunciation intensive and brief, like my wedding vows or something. I will have to give up grazing on snacks, chewing gum (I whined for a few hours about this as if I were dying. I realized later what a wanker I was being!) and speaking clearly. On the upside, the retainer is in fact nearly invisible. Everyone always *said* the braces were invisible, but they were lying.

I suppose I could’ve invoked some sort wedding-status for the office wide costume constest that just took place, but I was over the wankery by that point, and just dolled myself up in purple glitter cape, purple eyeshadow, purple glitter false eyelashes, black lipstick, with splashes of glitter blood all over my chin, throat and sternum, and went as an orthontically challenged vampire, with my retainer firmly in place and my fangs in the retainer case. My prize (participant!) is a sack of Hallowe’en candy, if anybody needs any candy.

You might have noticed around Rose-coloured many mentions of my lovely friend and blogger, Kerry Clare. It would most likely be Kerry who introduced the very useful word “wanker” to my vocabularly (see above) and, even better, has a new story “The New Peppermint” in the fall issue of The New Quarterly and even though my issue has not arrived yet (me and Canada Post, it’s a love/hate thing) I know it’s brilliant.

What are you dressed as?

Trapped and well-concealed

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So Much Love by Rebecca Rosenblum

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